It's official. I've officially learned the non joy in removing ice from a vehicle.
And being as short as I am, it's not an easy task to remove from the top of my escape. But, I did it.
With frozen fingers, and lots of swearing, I pulled it off..literally sheets of ice from the top, hood and windows of my vehicle.
It started innocently enough. Picture it...a 10pm call from Michael on monday night saying "Hey, we are supposed to get snow starting before midnight, incase you didn't hear."
I responded with "No, I didn't hear, but you will be coming home right?"
well, how was I supposed to know? In the south Snow shuts us down...completely.
He arrived at home at 12:20isham.
I made some sarcastic remark about the 'tons of snow' that had already fallen. He laughed at my obvious lie and chimed in when I said I didn't believe Maryland could forcast anything right.
We headed for bed.
I woke up at 6am. Apparently they can get the forecast KINDA right. It was snowing, but just lightly. I woke him and said "Check it out!" We watched it for a few minutes, then dozed back off.
When we re-awoke a few hours later it was a virtual winter wonderland. We opened our sliding glass door blinds. Neighborhood kids were already at play. Some lucky ones had saucers and sleds. One boy decided that fun can still be had in the snow, even if you are sans equipement. He forged a snow board out of cardboard.
He started down the hill and landed face first, my to my gasp then delight. I laughed. I admit it.
And here is the real news story...rednecks exsist everywhere. And they don't have to be white, or speak with a southern, or even an american accent, for that matter. And before you think I'm saying the kid was a redneck for the cardboard snowboard, think again....
Because something even grander...something even more spectacular than cardboard appeared.
Someone got the bright idea that a mattress would make a good, cozy comfortable sled, and that little to no injuries would occur in the event of an untimely dump out. Just lie on the mattress and anchors away.
Except that they were not figuring on the fact that a mattress is fabric and thus the idea of sledding down even a large hill wouldn't be so easy.
1/4 of the way down, it stopped.
As in no more movement. Regardless of that "If I just keep moving my body forward it will go!" move, it wasn't budging.
And thus the mattress lay abandoned, in shame. The non american redneck walked away head hung low, in shame of an idea gone bust.
Now, you are probably thinking as I am...and no, there was no sheet on the mattress (I mean, c'mon sheets would've probably slowed down the process even more.)
And furthermore, I, too, am befuddled.
Who would remove their own bed for outdoor snow time fun?
Secondly, who would abandon said mattress??
Alas, we did take photographs so that there is actual proof. And, to this very day, that mattress lies sheetless and covered in ice. Kids are just sledding AROUND it.
Mike and I are taking bets for how long Shelter Cove will allow it to sit unmanned on the hill. Or when a Hobo will come for camp outs.
And in other icy news, whilst I was de-icing the escape...our neighbor who makes the delicious smelling food, who we've tried in vain to befriend....well, he decided to take a walk. He chose going up the famous Mattress Hill, as it's come to be called, despite all it's ice, in lieu of taking the finally plowed ice free parking lot.
He started up, and slid down. Standing, mind you.
Again he started up, and again down he slid, still standing.
You could see it in his eyes, third time was a charm...wheels were a-turnin'. Light bulb totally going off above his head, he decided that CRAWLING up the ice embankment was the answer. He made it past the mattress this time. Only to slide willy-nilly down to the foot of the hill.
I laughed, but quickly took it back. For 2 very good reasons.
First one being...It could happen to me, in the event that I wanted to climb Mattress Hill.
Secondly, My laughter may ban me from any future free eats, or recipes, because you know how wicked Karma can be....
And I do believe Karma firmly looks out for all Hindus...
So, I went back to removing sheets of ice from my car, and continuing swearing and promising myself a nice winter home in Boca Raton when and if I ever win the lotto....
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