In a quick trip drive thru visit to Georgia, my sister and I stopped at the Go Mart! In Salem Viriginia. Which is next door to Roanoke, which is next door to nothing.
We go in, it's late. Put it this way, people were shaking their tamborines, and basically just letting it all hang out. We are talking after midnight here...
Lyns goes to the bathroom, while I wait in line for my turn.
There are 3 employees working the graveyard shift at the Salem Go Mart.
Apparently when the clock strikes past midnight, that's when they entertain each other with riddles, limericks, and jokes.
I was lucky enough to be an ear witness to the riddlin' portion of the night.
One guy says to his coworkers:
Ok, ok...I got one for ya'll..
The workers respond by basically just looking at him waiting for the knowledge he's about to drop...
He continues with "Pull yer pants down to yer ankles, don't pee on the seat. Love always... Who wrote 'at 'un?"
His coworkers look at him with silent 'ya stumped me' expressions.
He encourages them to guess, but only half heartedly, with "Well, who wrote it?"
They don't answer so he does it for them "The Tull-it"
I stood in line perplexed as to why the Toilet would sign it's letters with "love always." And I still don't know the answer.
but in my humblest of opinions, I believe that riddle/quiz is destined to be a winner. One that will go down in the history books of Go Marts across the land.
Fast forward a couple of hours in our journey down south.
We've made it to that sprawling metropolis known as Junaluska, North Carolina. The name alone makes it stop worthy.
Junaluska. Fun to say. Try it.
Well, we stop at the one truck stop they have. I woke from a car induced sleep. Which equals, crazy hair, bleary eyes and yes, I was cold. Cold enough to waltz in with two missions on my mind.
1. Go to the bathroom.
2. Buy a truck stop blanket.
So, yeah, you know I was chilly. But those places typically have selections of everything.
We go to the bathroom off th e bat.
It smelled so bad in there that I didn't even flush. I just busted a gut to get out of that steamy hot urine smelling hell hole.
And Junaluska started to slightly lose it's appeal. I mean after all is said and done, who wants to associate such a rockin' awesome name with the sneaky stinky stench of broiled urine?
Not this white girl. that's for sure.
Turns out Junaluska truck stop isn't full of selections. No kitchsy magnets. No funny shot glasses. Just a few post cards from 1989, and a couple of toothpick holders.
And as far as blankets go...
There were 2.
2 blankets to choose from.
1. a blue felty number that looked scratchy and just was not in my price range.
and then....the blanket that is the signature truck stoppin' blanket...
2. The mexican warmer. It's multi colored and en masse in various Loves, Pilots, Stuckey's across the nation, and probably even available in various colors in our lovely northern neighborin' country O'Canada.
The noteworthy qualities of the mexican warmer are:
Loud obnoxious color schemes.
Fringe.
Weird smell.
Turns out the mexican warmer was in my price range. (I found it was called a Mexican Warmer, as it was what it rang up as)
I carried it up to the register.
The cashier was a dandy. Adoozie. And apparently turned on by the faces of two road weary hot pieces of A (that would be me and Lyns btw).
He grins and then says "Hey."
I nod.
He says "Whatchew up to tonight?"
I said "Uhm...sleeping."
He said "Yew havin' fun, Sugarpuss?"
I said "Uh..no. not really."
He grins.
Lyns starts to get giggles. after all we are punch drunk.
After all she already announced to the store that the bathroom stinch was so profound that when it came to washing her hands she gave them the ol' Copperhill Hustle.
En route to the car, Lyns spins into a skit. (Which is what she does well)
Featuring the cashier at the Junaluska Truck stop.
It went a lil' something like this:
"haay yew buyin' a blanket, sugarpuss? whatchew wontin' to do under that blanket? Gah what I wouldn't give to be doin' it right now."
And after hours on the road, i was laughing so hard, I had tears....
And if you ever find yourself in Junaluska, stop by that lil' shop...tell the cashier that Sugarpuss says "haaay!"
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