Lyns & I saddled up to go to Biglersville, Pa for a day of frolic and fun. Specifically going to Thomas Brothers Country Store.
What could be better than junking for treasures in a store that is actually on the National Registry of Historic Places?
Turns out, a whole lot.
We were both so giddy with anticipation of finding Homer Laughlin, and fire king. The website looked promising.
We sang bad songs in the car en route. While I munched on Jelly Belly Licorice Bears & buttons mix.
Sister wheeled it into a thrift shop we saw along the journey. It beckoned to us. Even with it's name "Thru it All Ministries Thrift."
There was a giant Nutcracker standing by the door. A sign that they keep Christmas year round.
We walk in and are greeted by a lady who says "HEY! We have FREE hotdogs and hamburgers right off the grill, ON THE HOUSE!"
As if Free wasn't enough to convey there was no charge for our lunch.
We walk around and find that not only have they underpriced some treasures, you turn a corner and whammo! there is a church in there.
Yes. With pews and a pulpit. Right by the blankets for sale.
We paid for our finds, and indeed got our free hotdog and hamburger and the free juice. It was a little expired, the juice. By say a year. But we took it to be kind.
As I bit into my freeness I said around the food "They probably cut up a body and made burgers out of it, that's why they were free."
Lyns laughed and said 'probably.'
We were but mere miles from Thomas Brothers Country Store.
We continued on our journey. Even snapping pictures in glee.
We enter, and are greeted by an ancient lady in a red wig. Who, we discover is the owner of said establishment. She looks likeAunt Bethanyfrom National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.
Apparently the woman was around when Sarah laughed. She was ancient. She said "Where you girls from?"
We were both polite and answered in an extra loud voice. So as to ensure the woman heard us.
The store was a junk pile of dust and randomness. It was hard to tell if it was supposed to be a museum, or a storage unit, or a store. The kind of place that you know you are instantly guilted into buying something.
The ancient lady had a toadie. She had a tight perm in her hair of white. She started following me and my sister. The entire journey through the dust pit of America. That woman, that Toadie, was at our side.
Telling us about Dalton and Colton and how she only works there on saturdays. I wanted to say "Ok. But I don't know those people, so off with you now."
She showed us these lil' home made dolls that had Belle on one side, but flip it over and lift the dress, and there was the beast! I didn't want to point out that maybe Belle having the Beast under her skirt wasn't exactly family friendly.
We nodded, and pretended to be nice. She then showed us that their collection didn't end there, they also had red riding hood with the big bad wolf under her dress. And literally every fairytale ever written. I was thinking, "lady, please, back off."
She told us we simply MUST look at the display of Ike mementos they had in the back of the store.
And yes, they had a lot. Apparently, they believed themselves to be the only ones who liked Ike.
And since Mamie stopped by the store once in the 50's, Ike liked them as well.
After hearing the ancient lady by the front door talk to others who came in,about Ike and Mamie like they were best good friends of hers, I started to feel surly toward the ancient one with the bad wig, and even more surly toward the toadie who wouldn't back off.
We finally made our way back up to the front of the store, not without two big coughing fits from dust, and one case of the hibbly jibblies.
The OLD one saw us.
She said "Where you girls from?"
Lyns had her hand on the door busting a move to get out into clean air and away from the Stephen Kingness.
She said "we already covered that one."
Once out in the air, we didn't look back until we got to the car, and locked the door. All the while taking deep breaths to clear the dust from our lungs.
And yes, I was guilted into spending $5 on old postcards.
Check your mail soon, you may just be on the receiving end...and hold one of those expensive cards in your hand!
Point is, if you ever find yourself in Biglersville, Pa (Stranger things HAVE happened) heed my advice and don't go to the Country Store. Just don't.
Instead go to Thru it all Junk store and ask them to pony up with their free 'dog!
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