Unfortunately, when you move, to a whole new state, you give up certian things. In my instance, I gave up my primary care, along with my insurance. NICE.
Which puts me in the "don't go around getting sick" catagory of people in our raunchy health care system.
Lo & Behold, I need a pill refill.
I have no MD, no money to shell out for care at a family practice.
So, I turned to what options I had.
I called the health department. They rejected me. I was rejected by the Health Department. They couldn't see me for 6 long weeks.
BUT, all was not gone with the wind just yet, they referred me to the what I like to refer to as the "Last resort", Planned Parenthood.
I called.
FYI, if you need pills, at planned parenthood, you can just ask and receive, sans exam. Sans Needles.
I make an appointment, and show up.
First of all, I have never been inside of a planned parenthood in my entire life. I never held a negative feeling about the organization or a postive one for that matter. I just never had the need to patronize it.
But I was in a pinch, so I took myself over for my scheduled appointment yesterday.
I walk into the mini waiting room. It was like a sauna in there. Heat was a-blazing, yet it was in the upper 70's. I started sweating immediately. The television was sitting on a table beside a huge overflowing bowl of condoms(much like an oversized bowl of halloween candy) as Disney's Jungle Book was on blasting out the song "I wan'na be like you!"
Children were picking their noses, and wiping their treasures on the chairs.
The rude woman behind the counter belted out my name, and had me fill out a stack of papers, answering every question you can think of.
I waited to be called back, fanning myself with a copy of Cat Fancy. (the only magazing that wasn't women's health related.)
I finally make my way back to the exam room. The Nurse goes through her schpill and tells me that, sadly, they don't have my brand of pills in stock. BUT they will be happy to give me something similar.
She leaves, I'm left to wait in the dim lighted exam room, beside a 'life sized' uterus, displaying a Mirena.
I chew my lip.
I text my sister, asking her if I should ask for a prescription.
I shake my foot.
I tap the table.
Finally, the lady I refer to as "whisper woman" came in.
She literally whispered her entire conversation to me. She seemed programmed. Like she was just going through her routine schpill.
I was talking, but Whisper-bot wasn't listening. She told me the ways and hows that birth control works. I told her I understood. I'm not new to it.
She continued to talk.
I explained that I'm not really in the market of changing my pills. She said I may in fact, LIKE the 777's. I told her I'd perfer the 1/35s.
She said she will give me the 777's but I need to take them everyday at the same time. Whisper speaking to me like I am a moron, a walking talking moron who can't remember simple instructions and has trouble keeping it in her pants.
I told her I know how to take the pill, but could I have a script?
She continued her whisper talking about how important it is that I don't forget my pill, and if I take the 777s for a week, and just don't like them, give her a call and she'll write me a prescription!
I said "what about the risk of unwanted pregnancy?" (I said this because I assumed it would be a trigger word that would entice Whispers McGee, to pull out the prescription tablet and get to writing.
Skunked again!
She said "I wouldn't be too concerned. This pill is also estrogen based, however we do offer emergency birth control, as well as a proceedure."
I said "uhm..." I have no real fears of having children, as in, it's a long shot for it to happen, but I wanted to tell her I didn't WANT a proceedure. I wanted preventative measures, but apparently I'm too stupid to understand the whys and hows...
I stood at the paying window and thought very blandly "what a deal."
She came bareing a little brown bag with the pills 'securely' inside, much like a wine-o conceals his bottle.
She continues her 'whisper' talk and asked me "How many packs of 777's would you like to purchase today, Amber Dawn?" I looked at her with my head turned to the side, much like my puppy niece Chloe does when SHE can't understand why.
I said "Uhm, yeah..just the ONE."
The rude window lady took my card, swiped it and gave me the little brown bag of wrongness to me. I took a tootsie roll from the candy bowl that was strategically placed next to another oversized bowl of free condoms.
I sauntered out to my car. Chewing my lip, and quite frustrated.
After my experience at the joke of an organization, I took my absentee ballot over to the post office, and dropped it in.
After I vote, I always proudly proclaim it. "I voted!" much like my nephew used to boast about his flatuosity, when he was 5...and 8...and 12....
When I said it to the korean woman at the post office, she just looked at me blankly. So, I said trailing off a lil' "Absentee...."
She kept looking at me expressionly.
So I shrugged.
I made my way home, where Mike discussed with my mom via the telephone, the drama of WKRP. She loves bantering with him. Telling him to stay out of the rain, or he'd melt, he's so sweet (Insert eye roll here) my dad, more off the cuff, said "Naw, not melt, he'd float away." Which made Mike laugh and say "I like your dad."
We made a run for the border, then he had to go into work just for a lil' while, and he came home bearing news that we would be going to Georgia for 2wks while he goes to school! He said "Good news!! You are going to get to see your Mom!!!" As he turned down the bed for us. It made me smile and say "yay!"
This morning when I got to work, Dave gave me an eye opener about Planned Parenthood, and how it was born from the mind of a racist elitist named Margaret Sanger.
It makes perfect sense why they talk to women like they are morons at that orgainzation.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
You see all my light and you love my dark (Oct 11, 2008)
Sometimes, life happens in taco bell.
And I say that because, well, that happens to be Mike's favorite fast food in the universe, and that's where this all took place.
We were there last night.
Eating our burritos. I decided to live a lil' and stray outside of my Cheesey Bean & Rice staple.
I can't help it if that is the most tasty burrito they've created. Instead of choosing my favorite, I decided to branch out and get the chicken burrito supreme. No onions.
Mistake. The chicken tasted weird. I ate only 1/4 of it. Mike went to the counter to order my usual, telling me there was no reason for me to eat something I didn't like.
When he came back, he was pretending to be the neighbor from Home Improvement, hiding his lower face behind his taco, making me laugh hard.
A dad brought his dad and children in for dinner. They sat at the table directly to our right.
I instantly liked the grandpa. He reminded me of Poppi.
I dreamed of Poppi a little while ago. In my dream, he was in front of me. I hugged him. I was talking to him, telling him different things. The dream didn't seem to last very long, and as I was waking up, in my half asleep, just waking up daze, I thought "Where is he? I've not seen him in so long. I've seen Grandma a lot. Where is Poppi? I need to take him somewhere nice. I'm going to call him."
I woke up fully and realized that I simply cannot call him.
The dream lingered with me. The fact that I didn't grasp he's not here anymore in my just waking up state of mind bothered me a little. Maybe I don't want to believe that he's not here, I dunno.
Anyway, this Grandpa reminded me of Poppi. The Poppi from when I was little. I was looking over at him smiling at his antics.
And all of the sudden, I couldn't take being in the restaurant. I said to Mike "We need to leave...now. Can we please leave now?" I could feel the tears burning my throat. I knew I had only maybe 1/2 a minute to make it out into the nighttime.
Mike said "Sure. Absolutely."
I walked fast and determined out the door.
He was right behind me after throwing out our trash, that I left for him to deal with in my great taco bell escape. I was already in tears as I got to the sidewalk. He unlocked my door and i jumped in the car.
He said "What's wrong? Are you ok?"
I just broke down and told him the dream, and how I never even really cried about Poppi, and I just felt stupid now.
He didn't say anything, but instead threw his arms around me as I cried into his shirt. He rubbed my hair. Kissed my head. Told me it was ok to cry.
He told me that even if Poppi is gone for 20 years, it's ok to miss him so bad that it makes me cry, and he will completely understand.
He told me about the losses of his life,got misty eyed himself, and let me cry until my nose was red.
I couldn't believe how hard I was crying, and exactly how much I missed my Poppi just came pouring out of me.
Mike told me later when I referred to myself as his "emotional wreck girlfriend." That he "knew something was hurting" me when I abruptly needed to leave the bell.
I guess he thought the burrito took quick effect on my estomago.
I laughed at that. Diarrhea makes people do irratic things, and I guess he was just planning on driving hell bent to our apartment to get me to a bathroom.
I was worried that I had scared him with my out pouring of emotion, at some place as normal as Taco Bell.
He assured me that life does happen at taco bell, and that it was perfectly normal.
He called from work just to see if I was feeling ok, and that he'd be home to me as fast as he could be.
And I say that because, well, that happens to be Mike's favorite fast food in the universe, and that's where this all took place.
We were there last night.
Eating our burritos. I decided to live a lil' and stray outside of my Cheesey Bean & Rice staple.
I can't help it if that is the most tasty burrito they've created. Instead of choosing my favorite, I decided to branch out and get the chicken burrito supreme. No onions.
Mistake. The chicken tasted weird. I ate only 1/4 of it. Mike went to the counter to order my usual, telling me there was no reason for me to eat something I didn't like.
When he came back, he was pretending to be the neighbor from Home Improvement, hiding his lower face behind his taco, making me laugh hard.
A dad brought his dad and children in for dinner. They sat at the table directly to our right.
I instantly liked the grandpa. He reminded me of Poppi.
I dreamed of Poppi a little while ago. In my dream, he was in front of me. I hugged him. I was talking to him, telling him different things. The dream didn't seem to last very long, and as I was waking up, in my half asleep, just waking up daze, I thought "Where is he? I've not seen him in so long. I've seen Grandma a lot. Where is Poppi? I need to take him somewhere nice. I'm going to call him."
I woke up fully and realized that I simply cannot call him.
The dream lingered with me. The fact that I didn't grasp he's not here anymore in my just waking up state of mind bothered me a little. Maybe I don't want to believe that he's not here, I dunno.
Anyway, this Grandpa reminded me of Poppi. The Poppi from when I was little. I was looking over at him smiling at his antics.
And all of the sudden, I couldn't take being in the restaurant. I said to Mike "We need to leave...now. Can we please leave now?" I could feel the tears burning my throat. I knew I had only maybe 1/2 a minute to make it out into the nighttime.
Mike said "Sure. Absolutely."
I walked fast and determined out the door.
He was right behind me after throwing out our trash, that I left for him to deal with in my great taco bell escape. I was already in tears as I got to the sidewalk. He unlocked my door and i jumped in the car.
He said "What's wrong? Are you ok?"
I just broke down and told him the dream, and how I never even really cried about Poppi, and I just felt stupid now.
He didn't say anything, but instead threw his arms around me as I cried into his shirt. He rubbed my hair. Kissed my head. Told me it was ok to cry.
He told me that even if Poppi is gone for 20 years, it's ok to miss him so bad that it makes me cry, and he will completely understand.
He told me about the losses of his life,got misty eyed himself, and let me cry until my nose was red.
I couldn't believe how hard I was crying, and exactly how much I missed my Poppi just came pouring out of me.
Mike told me later when I referred to myself as his "emotional wreck girlfriend." That he "knew something was hurting" me when I abruptly needed to leave the bell.
I guess he thought the burrito took quick effect on my estomago.
I laughed at that. Diarrhea makes people do irratic things, and I guess he was just planning on driving hell bent to our apartment to get me to a bathroom.
I was worried that I had scared him with my out pouring of emotion, at some place as normal as Taco Bell.
He assured me that life does happen at taco bell, and that it was perfectly normal.
He called from work just to see if I was feeling ok, and that he'd be home to me as fast as he could be.
St. Bernard! That's a HUGE Festiva! (Oct 15, 2008)
I have to say, I was absolutely relieved when I read that Ohio did it. They put the too-fat-to die rapist/murderer to death.
I'm so sick of this world that we've created, this world of try not to hurt anyone's feelings, and treat everyone with kid gloves, because heaven knows that some fat rapist murderer may get his feelings hurt....It makes me want to vomit.
But at least, Ohio had the guts to say, fat or not, your time is up, chubbo. I made me think, maybe there is justice. Even though the asshole was hateful and violent until the end. Even though he showed not an oz of remorse or regret for taking lives. Even though...there is justice, and he isn't breathing good air, and devouring tax payers dollars.
So, I say quite flippantly indeed, good riddance.
In weekendy knews,
I opted to spend saturday night at the Casa De G'no. Where we dined on fine burritos and desserted with pumpkin pie.
It needs to be said, the G'nos have a fantastic sofa. It probably seats a million comfortably.
So there we were, watching fat dogs, and the next thing I know Dave is asleep on his continent of the sofa, Lynsey's asleep in her time zone of the sofa, and I'm lounging comfortably on the australia end of the sofa (island/continent/country) profoundly amazingly asleep. I wake up to gunfire galore and Lynsey mumbling "TURN IT DOWN, DAVID!"
and Dave mumbling in return "i did."
After what seemed like an eternity of Demolition Man the Live Action Play, I groggily announced that I was haulin' it upstairs to the guest room.
The next morning I was cheerfully wakened by Lyns and her fuzzy wuzzy pupply girl. Chloe greets every day and every person with exhuberance. Like she not only has to be in that day, but she has to tackle it and absorb every moment of excitement. I love that about her.
So, she bounded, she leaped, she charmed the morning with her cuteness. She ran circles and played the chase me game, that Michael swears he and chloe created together.
Then Lyns and I set off towards Frederick, for shopping. Birthday shopping to b exact. For her husband. Since his birthday is this week.
We made it as far as the little town of Thurmont, MD. I've only been to one location in this town. That was the sheetz gas station there off of 15. But the signs were everywhere for Colorfest.
I asked Lyns what it was, and she said she didn't know, so we took a lil' trek through town.
I have to say, it is quite possible that Thurmont is the cutest town in all of Maryland. It's quaint. It's pretty. It's so starshollow that I spent a deal of time looking for Dosey's market. There was even a yellow victorian that we drove past, in a shameless attempt to avoid the $10 parking fees, that looked like Rory should be bounding out of the door.
I want to live in that house.
I want to call it home.
It was just too perfect.
Before we actually did pay for parking, we stopped at what may've been the world's bestest yard sale this side of the mason-dixon.
It was operated by two lil' old ladies and an elderly gent. The elderly man, i adored immediately.
He told us that "yes it was fine!" for us to leave our findings up at the check out table, so that we could go "get another arm full!"
I almost felt guilty for racking up on so much vintage stuff for so cheap. It made me feel like I was robbing them. Homer Laughlin serving plates, cake carriers, vintage jars, fedoras, you name it. If it was from the 50's...it was probably there.
It was my favorite part of Colorfest, and it wasn't even technicallly part of the fest.
At the yard sale Lyns and i ooooed and awwed over the fattest lil' pomeranian ever. She looked like a fox. And she lounged lazily in a baby stroller. I LOVE doggies in baby strollers.
I kept saying "You're so precious!"
Finally I asked the man pushing her around "What is her name?"
He said "Precious."
Which made me laugh because it was so befitting.
As I rounded the table, a man in a purple wig and a matching Raven's jersey (superfan) was holding the leash of a st. bernard. A drooling st. bernard. I said "Whoa! he's huge!"
The man said "yeah...he's only one year old, you know? 160 pounds already!"
I said "No kidding? Can i pet him?"
he said "Sure can." biting his lip, he straddled the dog, and held tight to his lead.
I stepped back and said "Does he bite?"
He said "No siree, he just gets happy and He'll knock you down."
I petted his head, and wondered if come winter, he'll wear a barrell round his neck....
Lynsey and I did make our way to the official colorfest. Tents galore. Crafty stuff. We walked around and around before stopping for Lemonade.
We meant to get a funne cake and some kettle korn (for her and dave, i despise that stuff)
If you find yourself ever in Thurmont in october, and they are having Colorfest, you should go. it's too quaint not to...plus, if you are a mullet watcher, they are out en force...
Never fear, even despite getting sidetracked at the festival (still do not know why they call it colorfest unless they are referring to the leaves?) Lynsey & I did however, finally make it to frederick, where we only crammed in a lil' bit of shopping. And a pumpkin spice latte.
I came home to find my man getting ready for work...
In addition to talking about the up-n-coming G'no party, We made plans to go to NYC this weekend....so he can kiss me on top of the Empire state building
I'm so sick of this world that we've created, this world of try not to hurt anyone's feelings, and treat everyone with kid gloves, because heaven knows that some fat rapist murderer may get his feelings hurt....It makes me want to vomit.
But at least, Ohio had the guts to say, fat or not, your time is up, chubbo. I made me think, maybe there is justice. Even though the asshole was hateful and violent until the end. Even though he showed not an oz of remorse or regret for taking lives. Even though...there is justice, and he isn't breathing good air, and devouring tax payers dollars.
So, I say quite flippantly indeed, good riddance.
In weekendy knews,
I opted to spend saturday night at the Casa De G'no. Where we dined on fine burritos and desserted with pumpkin pie.
It needs to be said, the G'nos have a fantastic sofa. It probably seats a million comfortably.
So there we were, watching fat dogs, and the next thing I know Dave is asleep on his continent of the sofa, Lynsey's asleep in her time zone of the sofa, and I'm lounging comfortably on the australia end of the sofa (island/continent/country) profoundly amazingly asleep. I wake up to gunfire galore and Lynsey mumbling "TURN IT DOWN, DAVID!"
and Dave mumbling in return "i did."
After what seemed like an eternity of Demolition Man the Live Action Play, I groggily announced that I was haulin' it upstairs to the guest room.
The next morning I was cheerfully wakened by Lyns and her fuzzy wuzzy pupply girl. Chloe greets every day and every person with exhuberance. Like she not only has to be in that day, but she has to tackle it and absorb every moment of excitement. I love that about her.
So, she bounded, she leaped, she charmed the morning with her cuteness. She ran circles and played the chase me game, that Michael swears he and chloe created together.
Then Lyns and I set off towards Frederick, for shopping. Birthday shopping to b exact. For her husband. Since his birthday is this week.
We made it as far as the little town of Thurmont, MD. I've only been to one location in this town. That was the sheetz gas station there off of 15. But the signs were everywhere for Colorfest.
I asked Lyns what it was, and she said she didn't know, so we took a lil' trek through town.
I have to say, it is quite possible that Thurmont is the cutest town in all of Maryland. It's quaint. It's pretty. It's so starshollow that I spent a deal of time looking for Dosey's market. There was even a yellow victorian that we drove past, in a shameless attempt to avoid the $10 parking fees, that looked like Rory should be bounding out of the door.
I want to live in that house.
I want to call it home.
It was just too perfect.
Before we actually did pay for parking, we stopped at what may've been the world's bestest yard sale this side of the mason-dixon.
It was operated by two lil' old ladies and an elderly gent. The elderly man, i adored immediately.
He told us that "yes it was fine!" for us to leave our findings up at the check out table, so that we could go "get another arm full!"
I almost felt guilty for racking up on so much vintage stuff for so cheap. It made me feel like I was robbing them. Homer Laughlin serving plates, cake carriers, vintage jars, fedoras, you name it. If it was from the 50's...it was probably there.
It was my favorite part of Colorfest, and it wasn't even technicallly part of the fest.
At the yard sale Lyns and i ooooed and awwed over the fattest lil' pomeranian ever. She looked like a fox. And she lounged lazily in a baby stroller. I LOVE doggies in baby strollers.
I kept saying "You're so precious!"
Finally I asked the man pushing her around "What is her name?"
He said "Precious."
Which made me laugh because it was so befitting.
As I rounded the table, a man in a purple wig and a matching Raven's jersey (superfan) was holding the leash of a st. bernard. A drooling st. bernard. I said "Whoa! he's huge!"
The man said "yeah...he's only one year old, you know? 160 pounds already!"
I said "No kidding? Can i pet him?"
he said "Sure can." biting his lip, he straddled the dog, and held tight to his lead.
I stepped back and said "Does he bite?"
He said "No siree, he just gets happy and He'll knock you down."
I petted his head, and wondered if come winter, he'll wear a barrell round his neck....
Lynsey and I did make our way to the official colorfest. Tents galore. Crafty stuff. We walked around and around before stopping for Lemonade.
We meant to get a funne cake and some kettle korn (for her and dave, i despise that stuff)
If you find yourself ever in Thurmont in october, and they are having Colorfest, you should go. it's too quaint not to...plus, if you are a mullet watcher, they are out en force...
Never fear, even despite getting sidetracked at the festival (still do not know why they call it colorfest unless they are referring to the leaves?) Lynsey & I did however, finally make it to frederick, where we only crammed in a lil' bit of shopping. And a pumpkin spice latte.
I came home to find my man getting ready for work...
In addition to talking about the up-n-coming G'no party, We made plans to go to NYC this weekend....so he can kiss me on top of the Empire state building
Curry Chicken Makes Me Miss Atlanta (Oct 17, 2008)
Tonight, eating my curry chicken (I have an obsession with curry lately) and potato cake, I decided to stream Dave Fm from Atlanta.
The first song they play is Snow Patrol's Take Back The City. I'm sitting there bouncing my head and chewing along with the music, like I always do when I am eating and hear a song I like.
And suddenly, in mid-rhythm-chew of my chicken, I miss Atlanta. Could've been the lil' picture of the city they had on their website, that made me feel a lil' tender towards Georgia. Could've been the texts I was sending to Sandra today. Could've been that I really want a frozen orange from the Varsity, Could've been I miss my family and friendlies, and my pets I left behind. Could've been that yahoo told me Smyrna was a lovely 81degrees, and those of us livin' in MD are 10 degrees cooler...
It was probably all of the above.
But the music started, and suddenly, there I was, back in Georgia, lounging on my friend's brown sofa, laughing over mutuals...friends not funds.
I was turning into Atlantic Station to go to Ikea. I was walking into the flying buscuit for breakfast, and laughing on the 3rd floor archive room of the museum. I was driving past Fat Boys when they were open and had the best milkshakes in town. I was driving with Michael to Centennial Park, or Stone Mountain, or past the infamously famous big chicken. I was mocking the trendies with my sister...
Weird how a song alone can whisk you away...
Being here with Michael is where I want to be, yet, I think it's only normal to miss where I became me. I fullly realize the state is not me, it just defined me.
And this weekend Michael and I are packing in the actividades. NYC, G'nos Fiesta, Inner Harbor on Sunday. I've not seen him for more than 5 mins since Sunday.A whole weekend with just me and Mikely doin' what we're good at makes me excited with the pompatus of togetherness. So excited I may bust another move on the Maaco security camera.
Which has rapidly become my newest hobby. Dancing for the security camera. In hopes that if the police ever do need to review the tapes, they will be entertained royally by my cabbage patch or rodeo lasso hop in a circle.
Hey, I get my 15 mins of fame where I can, people.
I'm sure the fabulousness awaits us in the Big Apple. My dad told me I should twang it up and ask randomers where that there big apple actually is. He cracked me up because this came after he told me I definitely need to buy the chicken costume, just to go to Cluck U Chicken to eat.
The first song they play is Snow Patrol's Take Back The City. I'm sitting there bouncing my head and chewing along with the music, like I always do when I am eating and hear a song I like.
And suddenly, in mid-rhythm-chew of my chicken, I miss Atlanta. Could've been the lil' picture of the city they had on their website, that made me feel a lil' tender towards Georgia. Could've been the texts I was sending to Sandra today. Could've been that I really want a frozen orange from the Varsity, Could've been I miss my family and friendlies, and my pets I left behind. Could've been that yahoo told me Smyrna was a lovely 81degrees, and those of us livin' in MD are 10 degrees cooler...
It was probably all of the above.
But the music started, and suddenly, there I was, back in Georgia, lounging on my friend's brown sofa, laughing over mutuals...friends not funds.
I was turning into Atlantic Station to go to Ikea. I was walking into the flying buscuit for breakfast, and laughing on the 3rd floor archive room of the museum. I was driving past Fat Boys when they were open and had the best milkshakes in town. I was driving with Michael to Centennial Park, or Stone Mountain, or past the infamously famous big chicken. I was mocking the trendies with my sister...
Weird how a song alone can whisk you away...
Being here with Michael is where I want to be, yet, I think it's only normal to miss where I became me. I fullly realize the state is not me, it just defined me.
And this weekend Michael and I are packing in the actividades. NYC, G'nos Fiesta, Inner Harbor on Sunday. I've not seen him for more than 5 mins since Sunday.A whole weekend with just me and Mikely doin' what we're good at makes me excited with the pompatus of togetherness. So excited I may bust another move on the Maaco security camera.
Which has rapidly become my newest hobby. Dancing for the security camera. In hopes that if the police ever do need to review the tapes, they will be entertained royally by my cabbage patch or rodeo lasso hop in a circle.
Hey, I get my 15 mins of fame where I can, people.
I'm sure the fabulousness awaits us in the Big Apple. My dad told me I should twang it up and ask randomers where that there big apple actually is. He cracked me up because this came after he told me I definitely need to buy the chicken costume, just to go to Cluck U Chicken to eat.
Start Spreading the News (Oct 20, 2008)
Turns out, Michael and I did NOT make a trip up to NYC. It wasn't in the cards for this weekend.
We knew if we went to Manhattan, there is no way we'd make it back to The Gno's house on Saturday for the Birthday Party Fiesta para Dave.
Not logically, anyway.
Who could squeeze in all the sights and sounds and street vending hotdoggers AND still have time to put our party shoes on to get down in Pennslyvania? No one I know, that's who.
Instead, I relished the ENTIRE weekend with my lil' man.
Saturday Pre-party morning, we lounged and were deliciously lazy. I made late brunch for us (Scrambled eggs & Turkey bacon).
Will called for a saturday morning chat. Even spoke to Mikely. He gave us sound as a pound advice for when we actually DO travel to the Big Apple.
After the will-a-talk-a-thon, Mike and I finished watching the Love Guru.
We Mariska Hargitay-ed our Indian Neighbors as they walked past our patio. (I love their Ganesh that rides shotgun on their dashboard.)
We got ready to make it to Lyns' before the other party-iers came, so's we could squeeze in some Chloe Jane time.
Upon arrival, Mz Chloe ran amuck, or did "The Mess Around" as Mike says. (Quoting from Plains Trains & Automobiles)
Lyns put her hallows eve costume on the pup. (The Bee) She ran around the house with much rapidity, sliding and skidding to entice her Michael to play.
It worked. He loves that pup.
He held her, he massaged her. She was in heaven. After the Chloe Michelle playtime, Lynsey, Mike & I got the appetizers ready. Or the Whores Durvs. As Lyns & I lovingly referred to them.
Michael helped by being tall and reaching for things in the backs of cabinets. He climbed on step stools, he provided giggles, he even drove us to pick up the pizza pies and the bag of ice.
I love that he helps out. It makes me feel so happy and cherished that he would be quick to lend a hand for not only me but my family as well.
It makes me want to kiss him full on the lips.
Michael made my sister laugh so hard that HE cried. She was doing a rapid fire series of photog. She would call out a scenario and we were to 'as a team' make a face that would fit said scenario.
"You just got a new bike for christmas!"
"You are begging for birthday cake!"
And the one that brought such laughter from Lyns was:
"You just found out that Santa isn't real!"
We both pulled sad faces, but it was Michael's expression that made Lynsey laugh too hard to get an in focus picture.
My man mumbled with disheartenedness "He's NOT real?"
We had cake. Devon showed me that he had lost two teeth.
I said "WOW! Did the tooth fairy come to your house?"
He said yes indeed the fairy did drop by and left a George Washington for each tooth.
Lynsey said "A DOLLAR? The toothfairy TOOK money from me! She showed up with holes in her joggers, a cigerette that needed to be ashed, thick blue eye shadow, and I Had to pay her!"
I started laughing. I said "But she did have those fake fairy wings."
Lynsey laughed out "I still owe her!"
We were the only ones laughing, the entire room was looking at us. Not laughing. I sat my red solo cup down and smacked my fist-mike and said "Is this thing on? I'll be here all week ladies and gents!"
Lyns said "Please. Leave a tip. I STILL owe the tooth fairy...That bitch and Sally Mae, they are kicking my ass!"
Everyone was looking at us like we were insane, and when her sister in law asked what was funny, Lyns' mother in law said "Don't ask."
She understands that somethings are only funny between sisters.
Mike & I made it our mission to shop-lift items we need from the Gnos. Mike pocketed (In Lyns' plain sight, the fancy tongs she has)
He stage whispered for me to locate a muffin pan.
I absolutely adore that my man can make my sister belly laugh...It means she really likes him..and her approval of my man is important, beyond important to me.
Sunday, he and I went to Annapolis. We malled around, we had possibly the BEST chocolates ever...next to Lindt. It's called Frango, and they are Mike's favorites...I think I know what Santa is bringing him...
We knew if we went to Manhattan, there is no way we'd make it back to The Gno's house on Saturday for the Birthday Party Fiesta para Dave.
Not logically, anyway.
Who could squeeze in all the sights and sounds and street vending hotdoggers AND still have time to put our party shoes on to get down in Pennslyvania? No one I know, that's who.
Instead, I relished the ENTIRE weekend with my lil' man.
Saturday Pre-party morning, we lounged and were deliciously lazy. I made late brunch for us (Scrambled eggs & Turkey bacon).
Will called for a saturday morning chat. Even spoke to Mikely. He gave us sound as a pound advice for when we actually DO travel to the Big Apple.
After the will-a-talk-a-thon, Mike and I finished watching the Love Guru.
We Mariska Hargitay-ed our Indian Neighbors as they walked past our patio. (I love their Ganesh that rides shotgun on their dashboard.)
We got ready to make it to Lyns' before the other party-iers came, so's we could squeeze in some Chloe Jane time.
Upon arrival, Mz Chloe ran amuck, or did "The Mess Around" as Mike says. (Quoting from Plains Trains & Automobiles)
Lyns put her hallows eve costume on the pup. (The Bee) She ran around the house with much rapidity, sliding and skidding to entice her Michael to play.
It worked. He loves that pup.
He held her, he massaged her. She was in heaven. After the Chloe Michelle playtime, Lynsey, Mike & I got the appetizers ready. Or the Whores Durvs. As Lyns & I lovingly referred to them.
Michael helped by being tall and reaching for things in the backs of cabinets. He climbed on step stools, he provided giggles, he even drove us to pick up the pizza pies and the bag of ice.
I love that he helps out. It makes me feel so happy and cherished that he would be quick to lend a hand for not only me but my family as well.
It makes me want to kiss him full on the lips.
Michael made my sister laugh so hard that HE cried. She was doing a rapid fire series of photog. She would call out a scenario and we were to 'as a team' make a face that would fit said scenario.
"You just got a new bike for christmas!"
"You are begging for birthday cake!"
And the one that brought such laughter from Lyns was:
"You just found out that Santa isn't real!"
We both pulled sad faces, but it was Michael's expression that made Lynsey laugh too hard to get an in focus picture.
My man mumbled with disheartenedness "He's NOT real?"
We had cake. Devon showed me that he had lost two teeth.
I said "WOW! Did the tooth fairy come to your house?"
He said yes indeed the fairy did drop by and left a George Washington for each tooth.
Lynsey said "A DOLLAR? The toothfairy TOOK money from me! She showed up with holes in her joggers, a cigerette that needed to be ashed, thick blue eye shadow, and I Had to pay her!"
I started laughing. I said "But she did have those fake fairy wings."
Lynsey laughed out "I still owe her!"
We were the only ones laughing, the entire room was looking at us. Not laughing. I sat my red solo cup down and smacked my fist-mike and said "Is this thing on? I'll be here all week ladies and gents!"
Lyns said "Please. Leave a tip. I STILL owe the tooth fairy...That bitch and Sally Mae, they are kicking my ass!"
Everyone was looking at us like we were insane, and when her sister in law asked what was funny, Lyns' mother in law said "Don't ask."
She understands that somethings are only funny between sisters.
Mike & I made it our mission to shop-lift items we need from the Gnos. Mike pocketed (In Lyns' plain sight, the fancy tongs she has)
He stage whispered for me to locate a muffin pan.
I absolutely adore that my man can make my sister belly laugh...It means she really likes him..and her approval of my man is important, beyond important to me.
Sunday, he and I went to Annapolis. We malled around, we had possibly the BEST chocolates ever...next to Lindt. It's called Frango, and they are Mike's favorites...I think I know what Santa is bringing him...
Nicknames and Jokes (Oct 23, 2008)
Sitting here, at this mini-desk area that I sit at, I spent the last 5 mins. sharpening pencils. It made me feel very retro-a-rific. I even gave them the full pouty lip blow to get the pencil dusties off. I didn't realize I was even doing it until the last pencil so I'm sure the glam factor was missing from the entire process...That and well my hair is full of static.
Regardless while being the only woman in a shop of men I've learned quite a lot. First thing is, some men will indeed hold in farts and take it out doors. BUT they will ALWAYS let you know that they've done that and that "Their butt cheeks were squeezed together for HOURS" (Direct quote)
Dirty jokes are always funny. As are the aforementioned fart jokes. Day old coffee can be reheated and consumed, and nothing thought of it.
And they are, for the most part, clueless about women and what women truly want.
However, I did get a brand new nickname! For some reason people love to attach monikers to me...which I do believe is a good thing in most instances.
I'm not really sure who he is, but he comes by regularly. I think he somehow does something with parts or stickering or something...
I call him "Grapefruit", because his mom lives in Florida.
He calls me "Southern Belle" because well..does it need explaining? He says it like this "Hey Southern Belle! What's new?" And then upon leaving "See ya Southern Belle!"
In other news...
My sweetie-sweet has the night off. Which I'm hoping means squeezing in as much togetherness as humanly possible before bedtime.
Friday evening I came home from work. There were reminder letters on all the doors to all the ghetto-loud neighbors we have telling them they needed to simmer down with the noise, and not to be loitering in the stairwells and laundry rooms. (Gracias to my boyfriend who complained).
I open the door holding the red letter in my hand. Joy, sheer joy upon my face. As I'm pulling the key from the lock, I hear, down the hallway on the other end of the apartment snoring. (granted our bedroom door was open)
I slip out of my shoes (I hate wearing shoes inside) and creep down the hall still holding the red letter in hand. I stand quietly in the center of the room, watching him. He did not awaken, just kept happily snoring on.
I said sweetly "hi honey"
He snored on.
I repeated myself. Just a little louder.
Snoring stopped. The eyes opened, heavy. He did that fabulous thing I love, he moved his mouth before saying "Hi!"
I waved the letter at him saying "Look what was on the door! May I read it?"
he said "Yeah."
I read it proud, like a kid giving a report.
He said smiling "I know. I told them."
I got in bed with him, and proceeded to tell him a joke that Tom had told me at work. Mike is forever telling me jokes that make my stomach hurt from laughter. This joke I told, well, I butchered it. Terribly. So bad that I stopped. He was smiling. I was embarrassed.
I put my head under the blankets.
He said "Finish the joke, please? I want to hear it."
I said "No. I ruined it!"
He laughed and said "Please?"
He so sweet to humor me..
I do so love being held by him. He's whittled down holding me to an art. It's perfect. I snuggle against him, and presto, I'm all warm and feel like nothing or no one in this world can harm me.
It's so different having a man who actually cares about me. He shows me in such sweet little ways that I just feel so full that I may just burst.
And it's all unique to him. There's no other like him, I'm convinced.
The way he says my name, or makes me laugh, I even adore the way he insists that in holding my hand, his arm MUST be in front. I tease him mercilessly for it, but I adore it.
I absolutely love our stoplight kisses. When it turns red, he leans over and gives me a sweet kiss. Not the "HEY Assholes! Get a Room!" type of kiss.
And he lets me bombard him with nicknames galore. Buddy is the one I use most frequently next to Sweetie-Sweet.
But what I truly appreciate about him, is the way he gets me. He understands me, and he allows me room to be me. Whether I'm being stubborn, or pouty, or totally ruining a joke, he always seems quite amused with my antics.
I know I'm such a lucky woman, beyond lucky.
Regardless while being the only woman in a shop of men I've learned quite a lot. First thing is, some men will indeed hold in farts and take it out doors. BUT they will ALWAYS let you know that they've done that and that "Their butt cheeks were squeezed together for HOURS" (Direct quote)
Dirty jokes are always funny. As are the aforementioned fart jokes. Day old coffee can be reheated and consumed, and nothing thought of it.
And they are, for the most part, clueless about women and what women truly want.
However, I did get a brand new nickname! For some reason people love to attach monikers to me...which I do believe is a good thing in most instances.
I'm not really sure who he is, but he comes by regularly. I think he somehow does something with parts or stickering or something...
I call him "Grapefruit", because his mom lives in Florida.
He calls me "Southern Belle" because well..does it need explaining? He says it like this "Hey Southern Belle! What's new?" And then upon leaving "See ya Southern Belle!"
In other news...
My sweetie-sweet has the night off. Which I'm hoping means squeezing in as much togetherness as humanly possible before bedtime.
Friday evening I came home from work. There were reminder letters on all the doors to all the ghetto-loud neighbors we have telling them they needed to simmer down with the noise, and not to be loitering in the stairwells and laundry rooms. (Gracias to my boyfriend who complained).
I open the door holding the red letter in my hand. Joy, sheer joy upon my face. As I'm pulling the key from the lock, I hear, down the hallway on the other end of the apartment snoring. (granted our bedroom door was open)
I slip out of my shoes (I hate wearing shoes inside) and creep down the hall still holding the red letter in hand. I stand quietly in the center of the room, watching him. He did not awaken, just kept happily snoring on.
I said sweetly "hi honey"
He snored on.
I repeated myself. Just a little louder.
Snoring stopped. The eyes opened, heavy. He did that fabulous thing I love, he moved his mouth before saying "Hi!"
I waved the letter at him saying "Look what was on the door! May I read it?"
he said "Yeah."
I read it proud, like a kid giving a report.
He said smiling "I know. I told them."
I got in bed with him, and proceeded to tell him a joke that Tom had told me at work. Mike is forever telling me jokes that make my stomach hurt from laughter. This joke I told, well, I butchered it. Terribly. So bad that I stopped. He was smiling. I was embarrassed.
I put my head under the blankets.
He said "Finish the joke, please? I want to hear it."
I said "No. I ruined it!"
He laughed and said "Please?"
He so sweet to humor me..
I do so love being held by him. He's whittled down holding me to an art. It's perfect. I snuggle against him, and presto, I'm all warm and feel like nothing or no one in this world can harm me.
It's so different having a man who actually cares about me. He shows me in such sweet little ways that I just feel so full that I may just burst.
And it's all unique to him. There's no other like him, I'm convinced.
The way he says my name, or makes me laugh, I even adore the way he insists that in holding my hand, his arm MUST be in front. I tease him mercilessly for it, but I adore it.
I absolutely love our stoplight kisses. When it turns red, he leans over and gives me a sweet kiss. Not the "HEY Assholes! Get a Room!" type of kiss.
And he lets me bombard him with nicknames galore. Buddy is the one I use most frequently next to Sweetie-Sweet.
But what I truly appreciate about him, is the way he gets me. He understands me, and he allows me room to be me. Whether I'm being stubborn, or pouty, or totally ruining a joke, he always seems quite amused with my antics.
I know I'm such a lucky woman, beyond lucky.
The Deliciousness of Togetherness (Oct 24, 2008)
Last night, I came home to the delicious smells of my boyfriend cooking dinner. The apartment was warm, as they actually came out and fixed our light, our heater, and promptly did not reattach the cabinet door to the cabinet...c'est la vie...that wasn't a concern of mine at all...My sweetie-sweet was home.
He had made chicken (This, turkey & fish are basically the only meats I eat) It was baking in the oven. He had the carrots going. They smelled fantastic. He got creative and made an Indian sauce for them.
He told me that roasted red potatoes were unfortunately NOT on the menu for the night.
I said pretend-pouty and giving him a lil' kiss "Aww."
He said "Well, I went to get them, and they were....looking at me."
I said "Oh?"
He said "Covered in eyes."
I said "NIICE!"
We joked and teased each other, as we readied dinner.
I was teasing him about something and I said "My body My choice!"
Without one blink of an eye, not even looking up from draining the carrots he said "I hear ya screamin' sister!"
Which made me laugh.
He told me how ridiculous he found the new army dress uniforms as we set the table.
After eating, we got our the coats to go to Cold Stone. Yeah, it was cold, but it's his day off and if he wants ice cream, we will get it.
He ended up with his standard favorite the Oh Fudge Shake. I got crazy with it and had pumpkin ice cream with graham cracker crust bits. It was like eating a pumpkin pie. I nearly finished the entire Like It Bowl.
We went to the shopette for the $2.60 per gallon gas, then over to the commissary for eggs. (Even though he's not supposed to eat them)
He reached for the egglands that he always gets. Plain white ones. I said "Oh, but are they cage free?"
He said "what?"
I said "The eggs, are the cage free?"
He said "They are in a carton."
I said "I mean do the eggs come from cage free chickens?"
He said "I thought all chickens live in cages?"
I said "noooo. the cage free eggs are the ones I like. The chickens are free to roam around. They aren't in lil' cages unable to move."
He said "Hmm..really?"
I said pointing "See, eggland's cage free...right there."
He crinkled his nose "They're brown."
I said "I know."
It took some convincing that the "freckles" were normal.
He then shrugged and said "You're the boss."
After going home, he decided to get into his pj's & turn out the lights.
I said "Hey buddy, it's only 8:45"
I asked him if he wanted to watch tv with me. He did his pursey lipped head nod asking what should we watch...
I said "Uhm...sex and the city?"
He said "Weeelll....." making a signature grimace.
I said "Oooh! When you say Weeeellll it always means yes! This is the happiest day of my LIFE! My boyfriend is going to watch sex & the city with me!"
He said grinning "If it makes you that happy, put it in...BUT you cannot tell anyone I watched this!!"
I said "Who would I tell?"
He said "Your sister....Dave...The world."
I said "The world? How could I tell the world?"
He said "In your blog."
I laughed.
Turns out...he laughed very very hard at the scene where Carrie calls Miranda about seeing Big at the Opera. In the scene, Steve sits up in bed says "ugggh!" abruptly then falls back down asleep.
I knew he was a Harry-Steve mix.
He had made chicken (This, turkey & fish are basically the only meats I eat) It was baking in the oven. He had the carrots going. They smelled fantastic. He got creative and made an Indian sauce for them.
He told me that roasted red potatoes were unfortunately NOT on the menu for the night.
I said pretend-pouty and giving him a lil' kiss "Aww."
He said "Well, I went to get them, and they were....looking at me."
I said "Oh?"
He said "Covered in eyes."
I said "NIICE!"
We joked and teased each other, as we readied dinner.
I was teasing him about something and I said "My body My choice!"
Without one blink of an eye, not even looking up from draining the carrots he said "I hear ya screamin' sister!"
Which made me laugh.
He told me how ridiculous he found the new army dress uniforms as we set the table.
After eating, we got our the coats to go to Cold Stone. Yeah, it was cold, but it's his day off and if he wants ice cream, we will get it.
He ended up with his standard favorite the Oh Fudge Shake. I got crazy with it and had pumpkin ice cream with graham cracker crust bits. It was like eating a pumpkin pie. I nearly finished the entire Like It Bowl.
We went to the shopette for the $2.60 per gallon gas, then over to the commissary for eggs. (Even though he's not supposed to eat them)
He reached for the egglands that he always gets. Plain white ones. I said "Oh, but are they cage free?"
He said "what?"
I said "The eggs, are the cage free?"
He said "They are in a carton."
I said "I mean do the eggs come from cage free chickens?"
He said "I thought all chickens live in cages?"
I said "noooo. the cage free eggs are the ones I like. The chickens are free to roam around. They aren't in lil' cages unable to move."
He said "Hmm..really?"
I said pointing "See, eggland's cage free...right there."
He crinkled his nose "They're brown."
I said "I know."
It took some convincing that the "freckles" were normal.
He then shrugged and said "You're the boss."
After going home, he decided to get into his pj's & turn out the lights.
I said "Hey buddy, it's only 8:45"
I asked him if he wanted to watch tv with me. He did his pursey lipped head nod asking what should we watch...
I said "Uhm...sex and the city?"
He said "Weeelll....." making a signature grimace.
I said "Oooh! When you say Weeeellll it always means yes! This is the happiest day of my LIFE! My boyfriend is going to watch sex & the city with me!"
He said grinning "If it makes you that happy, put it in...BUT you cannot tell anyone I watched this!!"
I said "Who would I tell?"
He said "Your sister....Dave...The world."
I said "The world? How could I tell the world?"
He said "In your blog."
I laughed.
Turns out...he laughed very very hard at the scene where Carrie calls Miranda about seeing Big at the Opera. In the scene, Steve sits up in bed says "ugggh!" abruptly then falls back down asleep.
I knew he was a Harry-Steve mix.
Halloween (Nov 5, 2008)
In the first attempt at this blog, I took my readers back in time, to halloween. I described the creepiness of my concave halloween cake with the beautifully festive black bat candy confetti's that I dashed all over my confectionary masterpiece. Our oven is horrible and while it quickly cooks the outside of whatever you are creating (Be it Curry Chicken or Cake) it leaves the inside in a state of goo. (And yes ma'am, I have tried lowering the heat setting...) Alas, it is something I've learned to yell at and ultimately live with.Halloween was bring Mike to work day. Some people bring their daughters for empowerment purposes. I bring the boyfriend. (I adore when He hears me rant on women's issues he chimes in with a spirited "You are Woman! And I'm hearing you roar!" OR "I hear you screamin' Sister!")Anyway,He took me to lunch. After a festively spooktacular meal at Taco Bell (We all know why it's spooktacular..have you NOT had a bean burrito? Ok..I rest my case) Michael took himself shopping for new clothes for our up-n-coming trip to Washington State.(Yes, he does a daily avent calender-esque check with me "Amber, only 15 days til we go home!")After work, we we were two lil' pilgrams on the road to rustling up some scares. We decided to go up to Gettysburg.The town itself at night is unsettling. We thought maybe we could do a carriage ride, a walking tour something. But it was getting near dusk, and the parking was murder! So, we just took our happy lil' selves directly to the battlefield. It was kinda a drive thru fast food search for ghosts. We didn't stay in one area long enough to get haunted.I felt more comfortable on the Southern side of the battlefield (Could be because I'm a southern girl). We held hands as we walked out by the NC monument. The sky was full of stars, the lil' cresenty moon was orange in the sky.I felt like I was living out that Keith Urban song lyric
"You & Me side by side, walking through the woods in the pale moon light..."
We went to Little Round Top. There were so many people out there with their EVP recorders, and camera's. My silly buddy tried to summons the ghost of the Texan who supposedly helps people who appear to be lost. Announcing loudly that he LOVES Texas and he sure feels lost.
Unfortunately our friend in the afterlife was busy or just taking the night off. Which was fine by the both of us.
We finished our tour and headed to La Hacienda De Gnos. Where we ate pizza-pie, candies, played Apples to Apples and watched The Happening. I fell asleep on the sofa (like I've never pulled that trick before) and woke when the final credits were a-rollin'.
Mike and I made our way upstairs to crawl into bed. Mademoiselle Chloe followed at our heels. She was having a tender moment with Michael that I interrupted after my teeth brushing ritual. She waiting with bated puppy breath by the bathroom door for her Mikely to do the same, after which she played a rousing game of Run amuck with him.
The next morning we awoke, and did errands, which took us fruitlessly to Lowes, and then to Red Robin, where we ate burgers with a Sikh. (My love of all things Indian seems to follow me & I adore it!)
We had coctails then proceeded home for more coctails (for me..notsomuch for Michael). Our homemade coctails are the poor man's chardonnay. Vodka and Oj.
I was a happy woman falling tipsily asleep in his warm embrace...only to wake to the confusion that is known as the time change.
"You & Me side by side, walking through the woods in the pale moon light..."
We went to Little Round Top. There were so many people out there with their EVP recorders, and camera's. My silly buddy tried to summons the ghost of the Texan who supposedly helps people who appear to be lost. Announcing loudly that he LOVES Texas and he sure feels lost.
Unfortunately our friend in the afterlife was busy or just taking the night off. Which was fine by the both of us.
We finished our tour and headed to La Hacienda De Gnos. Where we ate pizza-pie, candies, played Apples to Apples and watched The Happening. I fell asleep on the sofa (like I've never pulled that trick before) and woke when the final credits were a-rollin'.
Mike and I made our way upstairs to crawl into bed. Mademoiselle Chloe followed at our heels. She was having a tender moment with Michael that I interrupted after my teeth brushing ritual. She waiting with bated puppy breath by the bathroom door for her Mikely to do the same, after which she played a rousing game of Run amuck with him.
The next morning we awoke, and did errands, which took us fruitlessly to Lowes, and then to Red Robin, where we ate burgers with a Sikh. (My love of all things Indian seems to follow me & I adore it!)
We had coctails then proceeded home for more coctails (for me..notsomuch for Michael). Our homemade coctails are the poor man's chardonnay. Vodka and Oj.
I was a happy woman falling tipsily asleep in his warm embrace...only to wake to the confusion that is known as the time change.
DC Recap (Nov 13, 2008)
Saturday rmorning Michael and I wake up early (yes, he set the alarm for 6am on SATURDAY! 6am does NOT exsist on saturday for me.)But alas, the alarm went screeching off at that ungodly hour.
I didn't want to wake up..Mostly thanks to Michael's hobo coctails the night before. (Hobo Coctails=Vodka & OJ. FYI: If my boyfriend EVER offers to make a drink for you...DANGER WILL ROBINSON! Just tell him you are all set. One sip of this drink, and my new yahoo chat name was Drunkee_McDrunkerson. They are potent. After the second drink, I became philosophical about Kevin Smith....)
So, the alarm goes off and I say "Nooooo. Headache. Snooooooze please!" He obliged, and me and my vintage nightie rolled out of bed in search of advil in the medicine cabinet.
I crawled back between the blankets, next to my warm man, and we did, my most favorite thing that we do... Lounge and talk.
We planned our up-n-comin' trip to Washington State. We laughed. We had a rousing debate of "Freckles..is he fo' 'em or a'gin em?" He concluded the debate with "We really should go, so we can get parking...y'know?"
Alas, the two of us got our stuff in gear and my co-pilot buddy drove us down to DC.
I snapped pictures of the ghetto-esqueness of our Nations Capital. Everytime we are going into DC, I say, w/o fail "I can't believe our Presidents call this place 'home' while they are in office."
Mike replies w/o fail "I KNOW!"
After extensive searching, we did find parking, and near the Capitol to boot! Bully for us!
Whilst (isn't that a great word?) we were strolling through a lovely garden en route to the Holocaust Museum, Mike's camera must've been miffed at us for snapping ghetto pictures, it decided to screech. Much like the sound of a 'hot mic' (I love using that term!)
And sadly, it refused to take anymore photos for the day. Maybe even it's life is over, I don't know. We thankfully used plan b for photographic mementos. My trusty phone. So, most, no wait scratch that, all of our pictures are blurry, and it looks like you need to put on your glasses to see them clearly...but they are our memories and that is what is important. Blurry or not...
Anyway, we went to the Holocaust Museum. It was the ONLY museum on our list to see this time. It amazing. I believe everyone should go. Everyone. Regardless. Everyone needs to go.
It's hard to wrap your mind around the millions of people who were slaughtered during the holocaust. Millions. It's hard to grasp that. It haunts me, and it should.
You walk into a room that is filled to overflowing of shoes. Shoes on top of shoes on top of shoes on top of...and you see this pair of baby shoes. BABY shoes. And to think of what happened to those whose feet wore these. It takes your breath. It's over powering. It broke my heart in such a profound way.
It broke my heart for the people who were sacrificed like animals for an insane man's sick perversions. It broke my heart for the people who were worked to near extinction, for the people who died on liberation day, for the babies who never got a chance, for the world, because we never got justice.
There was video footage of a child, she had brown hair in a little bob hair cut, and big brown eyes. She was blinking into the camera. I couldn't bear to even look. Mike held on to me. Rubbing my shoulder.
We agreed that we MUST bring his daughter to this museum.
He was furious that the President of Iran has the audacity to say that this never happened.
He has since told everyone he knows about what he saw, those who aren't even talking to him about the Holocaust. He lets his anger be known.
And this is what endears him to my heart.
After the museum we made our way over to the WWII memorial, watched the fountains and admired our WWII vets that were visiting the Memorial. I confessed to Mike, that I love our vets. ALL of them. And I mean it.
We walked around the mall, and as our appetites were out of control, we happily crossed the street to a hotdog stand where we paid a ransom for 2 'dogs and 2 beverages to wet our whistles.
Mike hand fed the lil' birds, and we laughed at the antics of fat squirrels.
We then headed over to the tidal basin to stroll over to the FDR memorial. Which, I have to say, if you go to DC, don't miss this. I Loved it!
Walking around the tidal basin was nice, the leaves were out en force, but I didn't realize the water comes RIGHT up to the sidewalk. Michael wanted to self photograph us and wanted to stand sidewalks edge.I resisted. No thanks, no way no how. You can't even see the bottom. before we made it to the FDR Memorial, the water had flooded up over the sidewalk, forcing us to trek through the wooded area.
At FDR, I gave him a kiss for Grandma, and made Mike stand in the breadline. Oh the things he does for me....I had to pose by the big lil' statue of Fala, and pick up some mementos/christmas gifts in the gift shop. Sue me, I like the Roosevelts.
Then we made our way to see the Jefferson Memorial. It is simply beautiful at nightfall. We gazed out at the city, as the night air began to chill and just held each other amazed at the sparkling beauty of our Capital City.
On the way back over to where we parked, the wind was blowing us all about, leaves flying willy nilly we had to block our eyes as we power walked, I was certain a storm was blowing in.
I did convince my sweet buddy to go to the WWII Memorial so we could see it at night. He obliged me. Even picking up a wreath that the wind had blown over.
Right after leaving, my darling man saved my life. It sounds dramatic and it was. We were at a crosswalk. The light changed, we got our safe to walk signal.The people across from us stepped out on the street as did I.
A car came bustling up and would've hit me had it not been for Mike's big arm pushing me hard and fast back to the side walk. My eyes were as wide as the driver's.
Mike yelled so loud at the woman in the car that the people crossing the street from the other side, jumped back onto the sidewalk. I don't remember what he said, just that he was LOUD and angry. I was trembling. Even my legs were trembling as we finally crossed the street towards the washington monument.
I kept saying "You saved my life. You saved my life!"
His mantra was that he wanted to 'Find that Woman.'
In relaying the story to my sister, Lyns offered to make him the 'biggest cake ever!'
I was jumpy at all crosswalks thereforth.We finally walked on the gravelly-ness of the mall, away from all traffic stops, gratefully, & talking about Cold Stone and how that was our next quest...ice cream..as a violinest played strangers in the night and a homeless man yelled random obscenities....
I didn't want to wake up..Mostly thanks to Michael's hobo coctails the night before. (Hobo Coctails=Vodka & OJ. FYI: If my boyfriend EVER offers to make a drink for you...DANGER WILL ROBINSON! Just tell him you are all set. One sip of this drink, and my new yahoo chat name was Drunkee_McDrunkerson. They are potent. After the second drink, I became philosophical about Kevin Smith....)
So, the alarm goes off and I say "Nooooo. Headache. Snooooooze please!" He obliged, and me and my vintage nightie rolled out of bed in search of advil in the medicine cabinet.
I crawled back between the blankets, next to my warm man, and we did, my most favorite thing that we do... Lounge and talk.
We planned our up-n-comin' trip to Washington State. We laughed. We had a rousing debate of "Freckles..is he fo' 'em or a'gin em?" He concluded the debate with "We really should go, so we can get parking...y'know?"
Alas, the two of us got our stuff in gear and my co-pilot buddy drove us down to DC.
I snapped pictures of the ghetto-esqueness of our Nations Capital. Everytime we are going into DC, I say, w/o fail "I can't believe our Presidents call this place 'home' while they are in office."
Mike replies w/o fail "I KNOW!"
After extensive searching, we did find parking, and near the Capitol to boot! Bully for us!
Whilst (isn't that a great word?) we were strolling through a lovely garden en route to the Holocaust Museum, Mike's camera must've been miffed at us for snapping ghetto pictures, it decided to screech. Much like the sound of a 'hot mic' (I love using that term!)
And sadly, it refused to take anymore photos for the day. Maybe even it's life is over, I don't know. We thankfully used plan b for photographic mementos. My trusty phone. So, most, no wait scratch that, all of our pictures are blurry, and it looks like you need to put on your glasses to see them clearly...but they are our memories and that is what is important. Blurry or not...
Anyway, we went to the Holocaust Museum. It was the ONLY museum on our list to see this time. It amazing. I believe everyone should go. Everyone. Regardless. Everyone needs to go.
It's hard to wrap your mind around the millions of people who were slaughtered during the holocaust. Millions. It's hard to grasp that. It haunts me, and it should.
You walk into a room that is filled to overflowing of shoes. Shoes on top of shoes on top of shoes on top of...and you see this pair of baby shoes. BABY shoes. And to think of what happened to those whose feet wore these. It takes your breath. It's over powering. It broke my heart in such a profound way.
It broke my heart for the people who were sacrificed like animals for an insane man's sick perversions. It broke my heart for the people who were worked to near extinction, for the people who died on liberation day, for the babies who never got a chance, for the world, because we never got justice.
There was video footage of a child, she had brown hair in a little bob hair cut, and big brown eyes. She was blinking into the camera. I couldn't bear to even look. Mike held on to me. Rubbing my shoulder.
We agreed that we MUST bring his daughter to this museum.
He was furious that the President of Iran has the audacity to say that this never happened.
He has since told everyone he knows about what he saw, those who aren't even talking to him about the Holocaust. He lets his anger be known.
And this is what endears him to my heart.
After the museum we made our way over to the WWII memorial, watched the fountains and admired our WWII vets that were visiting the Memorial. I confessed to Mike, that I love our vets. ALL of them. And I mean it.
We walked around the mall, and as our appetites were out of control, we happily crossed the street to a hotdog stand where we paid a ransom for 2 'dogs and 2 beverages to wet our whistles.
Mike hand fed the lil' birds, and we laughed at the antics of fat squirrels.
We then headed over to the tidal basin to stroll over to the FDR memorial. Which, I have to say, if you go to DC, don't miss this. I Loved it!
Walking around the tidal basin was nice, the leaves were out en force, but I didn't realize the water comes RIGHT up to the sidewalk. Michael wanted to self photograph us and wanted to stand sidewalks edge.I resisted. No thanks, no way no how. You can't even see the bottom. before we made it to the FDR Memorial, the water had flooded up over the sidewalk, forcing us to trek through the wooded area.
At FDR, I gave him a kiss for Grandma, and made Mike stand in the breadline. Oh the things he does for me....I had to pose by the big lil' statue of Fala, and pick up some mementos/christmas gifts in the gift shop. Sue me, I like the Roosevelts.
Then we made our way to see the Jefferson Memorial. It is simply beautiful at nightfall. We gazed out at the city, as the night air began to chill and just held each other amazed at the sparkling beauty of our Capital City.
On the way back over to where we parked, the wind was blowing us all about, leaves flying willy nilly we had to block our eyes as we power walked, I was certain a storm was blowing in.
I did convince my sweet buddy to go to the WWII Memorial so we could see it at night. He obliged me. Even picking up a wreath that the wind had blown over.
Right after leaving, my darling man saved my life. It sounds dramatic and it was. We were at a crosswalk. The light changed, we got our safe to walk signal.The people across from us stepped out on the street as did I.
A car came bustling up and would've hit me had it not been for Mike's big arm pushing me hard and fast back to the side walk. My eyes were as wide as the driver's.
Mike yelled so loud at the woman in the car that the people crossing the street from the other side, jumped back onto the sidewalk. I don't remember what he said, just that he was LOUD and angry. I was trembling. Even my legs were trembling as we finally crossed the street towards the washington monument.
I kept saying "You saved my life. You saved my life!"
His mantra was that he wanted to 'Find that Woman.'
In relaying the story to my sister, Lyns offered to make him the 'biggest cake ever!'
I was jumpy at all crosswalks thereforth.We finally walked on the gravelly-ness of the mall, away from all traffic stops, gratefully, & talking about Cold Stone and how that was our next quest...ice cream..as a violinest played strangers in the night and a homeless man yelled random obscenities....
My Softie, the Search for Christmas Cards & Washington State (Nov 18, 2008)
This weekend went by delightfully, Michael and I made it our mission to go to Petsmart to see the animals up for adoption (NOTE: Saturday in Ga means pet adoption at petsmart. Not so at the Arundel Mills Petsmart.)
We were scurrying about town getting last minutes for our trip to Washington. Not that a kitten was a last minute necessity for our flight, or our vacay, but we still like to see them. I give him my puppy dog eyes and batty eye lashes when telling him I desperately need a kitten.
I confessed to him, on 175 going to Noodles & Company in Columbia that I believe if he and I ever had a child, he would be a softie.
He said "Why? What do you mean?"
I said "I'll be the mean mommy, you'll be the giver-in-er cool buddy daddy."
He smiled and said "What?"
I said "Yes, all she will have to do is give you the big eye look and you will cave."
With total unconvincingability He said "Not so."
I laughed and said "Oh, please, She will be 18 months old and I will say 'NO lollipops' and you will hold her and the lollipop and let her lick it."
He said "Sure! Why not?"
And the truth is, he didn't even try to deny that he will be softie. But I adore that about him.
Just like when he said he didn't think the cat that becomes ours should sleep in our bed.
After our visit to the cats (Where we fell in love with Melvin and his One eyed partner Reebok whom we both said would be better suited with the name Rebecca. Both were black, adorable and spunky. We played feather ball with them. I wanted both immediately if not sooner!)
Mike was in love with a rude fat girl named Honeybun.
She meowed at him for touching her.
Then she rubbed her head against her jail cell for him to pet her.
THEN when he stopped petting her, she meowed her angst yet again.
I said "Y'know, if we'd have gotten Honeybun, she'd have parked it right between us, in the middle of this bed."
He kinda admitted defeat and said "I know. And she'd probably not move an inch."
Saturday we milled around the mall, I got a hair trim up, at Great Clips in Glen Burnie. Where the hairstylist told me exactly how to get to the Inner Harbor and exactly how to make "colorful" snow men. (food coloring and water in a spray bottle)
Then Mike & I went to 5 Guys and then milled about town on my quest for boxed Christmas cards. I made a disheartening discovery that not all hallmarks have the same products. Generally they do, but the cards I wanted I found at Annapolis Mall. I found this PRE Halloween. In fact, I found them within the first week of my move up here. I believe.
They were cute, they played a song, I could put a picture of us neatly inside (we are conceited like that). Alas, I did not purchase the holiday greetings on that fateful day at Annapolis Mall. I decided to "wait."
I'm completely unsure what it was that I was waiting on, but I said and I quote "I'll wait." (Feel free to quote me on that.)
So, I've been searching fruitlessly.
No other card calls to me.
No other card says Happy Holidays quite like those did.
Did the hallmark in Severn have them? Nope.
How bout the one in Columbia? Not a chance!
Did I check the one at Arundel Mills? I did, but they don't even HAVE hallmark.
It's a travesty really! How can I greet the people I heart, love, or just kinda randomly like without the proper Holiday Greeting card that plays Holly Jolly Christmas?
And shouldn't Hallmark be universal? I mean, it doesn't just stop with Holiday greeting cards, did you know that NOT all Hallmark's will sell Russell Stover Peanut butter treats?
I was shocked, too.
But in other news, Michael and I are packing up for Washington State. We fly out on Wednesday Morning, bright and early.
I'm excited about actually seeing where he grew up, and well, I've always wanted to go to the Pacific Northwest. I want to drink some coffee and walk in the rain.
He's also promised me a trip to Leavenworth. The bavarian town in Washington, not the prison. And I'm so excited to go there. I simply cannot wait.
As for the flight, I hope for no bumpies. I detest the bumpies. I already have packed my Martha Washington book that I'm reading AND my newest Country Living Magazine. (The one he just bought for me the other night. I've yet to read it, saving it for the air.)
Switching over planes in Minneapolis, city famous for....what are they famous for again? Hopefully we won't get snowed into the airport there. But if we do, don't worry I'll bring you back a zip lock bag of snow for a souvenir.
We were scurrying about town getting last minutes for our trip to Washington. Not that a kitten was a last minute necessity for our flight, or our vacay, but we still like to see them. I give him my puppy dog eyes and batty eye lashes when telling him I desperately need a kitten.
I confessed to him, on 175 going to Noodles & Company in Columbia that I believe if he and I ever had a child, he would be a softie.
He said "Why? What do you mean?"
I said "I'll be the mean mommy, you'll be the giver-in-er cool buddy daddy."
He smiled and said "What?"
I said "Yes, all she will have to do is give you the big eye look and you will cave."
With total unconvincingability He said "Not so."
I laughed and said "Oh, please, She will be 18 months old and I will say 'NO lollipops' and you will hold her and the lollipop and let her lick it."
He said "Sure! Why not?"
And the truth is, he didn't even try to deny that he will be softie. But I adore that about him.
Just like when he said he didn't think the cat that becomes ours should sleep in our bed.
After our visit to the cats (Where we fell in love with Melvin and his One eyed partner Reebok whom we both said would be better suited with the name Rebecca. Both were black, adorable and spunky. We played feather ball with them. I wanted both immediately if not sooner!)
Mike was in love with a rude fat girl named Honeybun.
She meowed at him for touching her.
Then she rubbed her head against her jail cell for him to pet her.
THEN when he stopped petting her, she meowed her angst yet again.
I said "Y'know, if we'd have gotten Honeybun, she'd have parked it right between us, in the middle of this bed."
He kinda admitted defeat and said "I know. And she'd probably not move an inch."
Saturday we milled around the mall, I got a hair trim up, at Great Clips in Glen Burnie. Where the hairstylist told me exactly how to get to the Inner Harbor and exactly how to make "colorful" snow men. (food coloring and water in a spray bottle)
Then Mike & I went to 5 Guys and then milled about town on my quest for boxed Christmas cards. I made a disheartening discovery that not all hallmarks have the same products. Generally they do, but the cards I wanted I found at Annapolis Mall. I found this PRE Halloween. In fact, I found them within the first week of my move up here. I believe.
They were cute, they played a song, I could put a picture of us neatly inside (we are conceited like that). Alas, I did not purchase the holiday greetings on that fateful day at Annapolis Mall. I decided to "wait."
I'm completely unsure what it was that I was waiting on, but I said and I quote "I'll wait." (Feel free to quote me on that.)
So, I've been searching fruitlessly.
No other card calls to me.
No other card says Happy Holidays quite like those did.
Did the hallmark in Severn have them? Nope.
How bout the one in Columbia? Not a chance!
Did I check the one at Arundel Mills? I did, but they don't even HAVE hallmark.
It's a travesty really! How can I greet the people I heart, love, or just kinda randomly like without the proper Holiday Greeting card that plays Holly Jolly Christmas?
And shouldn't Hallmark be universal? I mean, it doesn't just stop with Holiday greeting cards, did you know that NOT all Hallmark's will sell Russell Stover Peanut butter treats?
I was shocked, too.
But in other news, Michael and I are packing up for Washington State. We fly out on Wednesday Morning, bright and early.
I'm excited about actually seeing where he grew up, and well, I've always wanted to go to the Pacific Northwest. I want to drink some coffee and walk in the rain.
He's also promised me a trip to Leavenworth. The bavarian town in Washington, not the prison. And I'm so excited to go there. I simply cannot wait.
As for the flight, I hope for no bumpies. I detest the bumpies. I already have packed my Martha Washington book that I'm reading AND my newest Country Living Magazine. (The one he just bought for me the other night. I've yet to read it, saving it for the air.)
Switching over planes in Minneapolis, city famous for....what are they famous for again? Hopefully we won't get snowed into the airport there. But if we do, don't worry I'll bring you back a zip lock bag of snow for a souvenir.
Washington State, candies and spooky townsfolk (Dec 9, 2008)
Despite the first half of our flight home, wherein a fat baby screamed his fat head off for 2hours and 56 minutes of the 3 hour flight from Seattle to Minneapolis (we were plane switchers). I told Mike 'That kid' (Stressing kid with as much disdain as if I called him an m.f.er) 'Will fall asleep as we are landing!'
I so called that right! I was so mad at him, I wanted to pinch him. He wasn't pulling his ears, so it wasn't like he was upset because of pressure in his ear or whatever. He was pissed that his Mama wouldn't let him down. She gave him a lint roller and proceeded to waltz him up and down the aisle so that every traveller on our packed plane could get an earfull, and indeed pay for her reproductive choices.
However, that alone could not take away from my trip to Washington. I absolutely adored it.
The state is lovely.
Albeit, I was there for 2 days before I realized that the town of Port Orchard was surrounded by the most beautiful mountains. The overcast kinda covered them up.
The first day there, we hopped on the ferry from Bremerton to Seattle. I was taking everything in. I adore the way the houses are built on little hills over looking the water. The ferry did sway on the water a bit, and it seemed like no one but me was aware of it.
When I saw seattle, I was so bijiggity with the pompatus of travel! I jumped up and down, and Mike and I braved the wind and mist to get our pictures made on what he calls 'the Pickle fork.'
The city doesn't feel like a 'city'. It's jam packed with places to drink coffee, and wannabe artists and musicians who encourage sing-a-longs and take requests.
In fact, Seattle feels safe, and very small townish.
And without sounding racist..that is the whitest place I've ever been in my life. I didn't really get a feel of diversity, although everyone I met was friendly.
I fell in love, in passionate love with a place called the Rocky Mountain Candy shop.
Pull up a chair, I'm about to tell you why.
It's a delish delight known in those parts as a 'tiger tail.' It's on a stick.
Personally, I like any treat that is named after a tiger. Frosted Flakes is famous for it's tiger, and everyone knows they are good.
But this tiger tail...well that was new to me.
And with the appeal of it being on a stick....it was almost a given that I must try it.
I asked the girl behind the counter what exactly a 'tiger tail' was.
She said 'A chocolate covered Twinkie.'
Yes, please, feel free to re-read that. A chocolate covered twinkie on a stick.
Life gets no better than that. I am assured.
A person desiring to try said confection had her choice:
Milk chocolate with white chocolate stripes
OR
White Chocolate with milk chocolate stripes
I went with the white chocolate selection, and I was not dissappointed. In fact, I was beside myself with joy.
It must be noted that in the Pacific Northwest, it must be a trend to name your treats after the tiger, because at the port orchard candy shop, Michael and I bought fudge. Of course, when in Rome...or when in a fudge shop...
I chose, what else but 'Tiger Butter.'
Turns out Tiger Butter is peanut butter fudge with 'An extra shot of peanut butter.'
Michael took me on tour of the Puget sound area, with many many candy shop, bakeries, fudgeries stops. Wherein we purchased yummies from each stop.
Poulsbo bakery's snowman cookies made me a happy tourist walking along a boardwalk. Until a seagull came flying up. Mike said 'Do NOT give him any cookie.'
He was swirling ahead and I said 'Ok. I won't.' Like that bird was gonna get a charity bite of my treat! Please!
He said '100 will appear out of nowhere.'
I said '100?'
He had no time to answer because circling above and cawing or whatever they do...seagulling..whatever was more seagulls in hopeful congregation.
I wrapped my cookie back in it's little wax baggie for safe keeping.
Ain't no seagull gonna swoop down and take MY snowman cookie!
Let me just say Poulsbo is the cutest Viking Town. We walked the distance of it, me trying to shake my carsickness (there's some curvy roads in that part of the nation!)
After going to Poulsbo, we made a stop at a picturesque town called Port Gamble. At this point, I was willing the gods for me not to throw up, and wondering why I didn't take my drammamine before entering curvy road central.
We got out, and went in the general store/shell museum/town museum.
The shell museum was on the upper floor, the town museum was on the lowest floor.
I kept telling Michael how beautiful the town was, and it is...but the beauty turned to Stephen King freakishness quickly. Once down in the basement, we learned that Port Gamble was once a logging town, but now it is just a historic town. 'THE company' owns and operates the town. So said the lady sitting behind the desk in the museum.
In my already car sickened state, I fashioned a wild story wherein this lady was 'the Company' and she was in charge of Mind Control of the mini beautiful town.
And I swear that general store is haunted beyond belief, because when I was in the bathroom, my stall door shook as though someone was trying to get in my stall. I was the only person in there. It was so creepy.
We walked up to the town cemetery to get fresh air.
We started giggling about how Stephen Kingish it was there.
Mike said 'they aren't going to let us leave, you know?'
I said 'Stop!'
But the creepy factor was over the top there. I am sure there is a seedy underworld happening there en force.
Luckily as we jumped back in the rental to return to his parent's house, no Port Gamblers tried to hold us hostage under their mind control freakishness. We made it safely back to Port Orchard, and was entertained by his parent's stories.
I completely see that Michael gets his sense of humor from his sweet dad.
I so called that right! I was so mad at him, I wanted to pinch him. He wasn't pulling his ears, so it wasn't like he was upset because of pressure in his ear or whatever. He was pissed that his Mama wouldn't let him down. She gave him a lint roller and proceeded to waltz him up and down the aisle so that every traveller on our packed plane could get an earfull, and indeed pay for her reproductive choices.
However, that alone could not take away from my trip to Washington. I absolutely adored it.
The state is lovely.
Albeit, I was there for 2 days before I realized that the town of Port Orchard was surrounded by the most beautiful mountains. The overcast kinda covered them up.
The first day there, we hopped on the ferry from Bremerton to Seattle. I was taking everything in. I adore the way the houses are built on little hills over looking the water. The ferry did sway on the water a bit, and it seemed like no one but me was aware of it.
When I saw seattle, I was so bijiggity with the pompatus of travel! I jumped up and down, and Mike and I braved the wind and mist to get our pictures made on what he calls 'the Pickle fork.'
The city doesn't feel like a 'city'. It's jam packed with places to drink coffee, and wannabe artists and musicians who encourage sing-a-longs and take requests.
In fact, Seattle feels safe, and very small townish.
And without sounding racist..that is the whitest place I've ever been in my life. I didn't really get a feel of diversity, although everyone I met was friendly.
I fell in love, in passionate love with a place called the Rocky Mountain Candy shop.
Pull up a chair, I'm about to tell you why.
It's a delish delight known in those parts as a 'tiger tail.' It's on a stick.
Personally, I like any treat that is named after a tiger. Frosted Flakes is famous for it's tiger, and everyone knows they are good.
But this tiger tail...well that was new to me.
And with the appeal of it being on a stick....it was almost a given that I must try it.
I asked the girl behind the counter what exactly a 'tiger tail' was.
She said 'A chocolate covered Twinkie.'
Yes, please, feel free to re-read that. A chocolate covered twinkie on a stick.
Life gets no better than that. I am assured.
A person desiring to try said confection had her choice:
Milk chocolate with white chocolate stripes
OR
White Chocolate with milk chocolate stripes
I went with the white chocolate selection, and I was not dissappointed. In fact, I was beside myself with joy.
It must be noted that in the Pacific Northwest, it must be a trend to name your treats after the tiger, because at the port orchard candy shop, Michael and I bought fudge. Of course, when in Rome...or when in a fudge shop...
I chose, what else but 'Tiger Butter.'
Turns out Tiger Butter is peanut butter fudge with 'An extra shot of peanut butter.'
Michael took me on tour of the Puget sound area, with many many candy shop, bakeries, fudgeries stops. Wherein we purchased yummies from each stop.
Poulsbo bakery's snowman cookies made me a happy tourist walking along a boardwalk. Until a seagull came flying up. Mike said 'Do NOT give him any cookie.'
He was swirling ahead and I said 'Ok. I won't.' Like that bird was gonna get a charity bite of my treat! Please!
He said '100 will appear out of nowhere.'
I said '100?'
He had no time to answer because circling above and cawing or whatever they do...seagulling..whatever was more seagulls in hopeful congregation.
I wrapped my cookie back in it's little wax baggie for safe keeping.
Ain't no seagull gonna swoop down and take MY snowman cookie!
Let me just say Poulsbo is the cutest Viking Town. We walked the distance of it, me trying to shake my carsickness (there's some curvy roads in that part of the nation!)
After going to Poulsbo, we made a stop at a picturesque town called Port Gamble. At this point, I was willing the gods for me not to throw up, and wondering why I didn't take my drammamine before entering curvy road central.
We got out, and went in the general store/shell museum/town museum.
The shell museum was on the upper floor, the town museum was on the lowest floor.
I kept telling Michael how beautiful the town was, and it is...but the beauty turned to Stephen King freakishness quickly. Once down in the basement, we learned that Port Gamble was once a logging town, but now it is just a historic town. 'THE company' owns and operates the town. So said the lady sitting behind the desk in the museum.
In my already car sickened state, I fashioned a wild story wherein this lady was 'the Company' and she was in charge of Mind Control of the mini beautiful town.
And I swear that general store is haunted beyond belief, because when I was in the bathroom, my stall door shook as though someone was trying to get in my stall. I was the only person in there. It was so creepy.
We walked up to the town cemetery to get fresh air.
We started giggling about how Stephen Kingish it was there.
Mike said 'they aren't going to let us leave, you know?'
I said 'Stop!'
But the creepy factor was over the top there. I am sure there is a seedy underworld happening there en force.
Luckily as we jumped back in the rental to return to his parent's house, no Port Gamblers tried to hold us hostage under their mind control freakishness. We made it safely back to Port Orchard, and was entertained by his parent's stories.
I completely see that Michael gets his sense of humor from his sweet dad.
More Washington Mutterings (Dec 12, 2008)
So, on this rainy and ridiculously cold day, I'm sitting here in sad resignation that we did not make it to Point Defiance Zoo's holiday zoo lights.
Granted, we did do a fair amount of holiday-esque type of acitivies during our Washington trip.
We went to Leavenworth, the bavarian village in the middle of the most beautiful mountains I've ever laid eyes on. I was so mesmirized that every place we stopped, I was ready to move there, call it home.
Esp. North Bend.
I didn't really change my mind that North Bend would be a nice place to live, EVEN despite the man at Mcdonald's who wanted me to order a breakfast VALUE meal by saying "What number?"
I said "I'll just have a breakfast burrito."
He said "What number?"
He said "What number?"
I said "Just the burrito no number."
He said "You don't want the number?"
I said "No. No number, burrito will be fine?"
He said "Just the burrito not the mcskillet meal?"
I said "Just the regular ol' burrito, please."
He said "The number comes with a drink, and a hashbrown."
I said "I'm good." Not telling him I had a peppermint mocha in the car a-waitin'.
He said "You don't want the number?"
I said "No. No number, burrito will be fine?"
He said "Just the burrito not the mcskillet meal?"
I said "Just the regular ol' burrito, please."
He said "The number comes with a drink, and a hashbrown."
I said "I'm good." Not telling him I had a peppermint mocha in the car a-waitin'.
He said "Well then just one burrito no number, no drink for you." Turning to Mike he said "And what number can I get you?"
Thus starting the whole "number" process again.
Thus starting the whole "number" process again.
This Mcdonald's was fancy. It was "themed" outdoorsy themed, and in lieu of a playground, this Mcdonald-land didn't boast a play area, no indeedy, it had a fountain. Chez Ronald!
I didn't actually change my mind that North Bend is my new home...until Mike broke the sad news that It snows "A LOT" in the winter. My dreams of living in the town that is famous for being in the movie The Vanishing (Yes, he showed me the gas station that was featured) were dashed, smashed and cut in 1/2.
Leavenworth, when we did finally arrive was so beautiful.
I had the most fun meandering in and out of shops, buying coconut clusters (which I'm so guilty of buying them at nearly every candy shop, and have yet to find any as yummalicious as the ones in Savannah, but the search continues w/o fail), or just being silly with Michael.
I had the most fun meandering in and out of shops, buying coconut clusters (which I'm so guilty of buying them at nearly every candy shop, and have yet to find any as yummalicious as the ones in Savannah, but the search continues w/o fail), or just being silly with Michael.
My favorite shop was the Hat Shop. I don't remember seeing anyone buying hats, but everyone was trying them on. We were all howling with laughter. Every hat try-er on-er. But where else can you morph into a rasta w/ dreads just by putting on a hat?
We also got gingerbread cookies that we delightfully ate on the snowy ride home.
Mike was constantly listening to reports on "The Passes" for our trip home. Come to find out a "Pass" is just a road. However, sometimes they shut down these roads if the conditions are bad.
We hauled it out of their before nightfall so we wouldn't get stuck in a pass, or have to turn around. We took a pass named Steven, and it was spectacular! We stopped on the road for self pictures many times. The snow was beautiful, and once Michael just wanted me to "Look over." To see how high up we were. When I was walking my cold self back to the heated seats of the rental car, I got pummeled on the leg with a snowball, courtesy of Michael's child-like shenanigans.
Mike was constantly listening to reports on "The Passes" for our trip home. Come to find out a "Pass" is just a road. However, sometimes they shut down these roads if the conditions are bad.
We hauled it out of their before nightfall so we wouldn't get stuck in a pass, or have to turn around. We took a pass named Steven, and it was spectacular! We stopped on the road for self pictures many times. The snow was beautiful, and once Michael just wanted me to "Look over." To see how high up we were. When I was walking my cold self back to the heated seats of the rental car, I got pummeled on the leg with a snowball, courtesy of Michael's child-like shenanigans.
We sang songs and looked at christmas lights, and ate our gingerbread (his was a man, I chose the frosted heart cookie) and chattered about our day, and how amazing the scenery is.
He did report to his family that "Amber wants to live everywhere we visit!"
(I have to say, I do have my heart set somewhat on Axis apartments in Seattle....
(I have to say, I do have my heart set somewhat on Axis apartments in Seattle....
The 80's and fake christmas tree happiness! (Dec 17, 2008)
My quest for all things Sarah Jessica Parker (save the Lovely/Covet perfumes eeegads! those things stink!) led me to the movie "Girls Just Want to Have Fun".
The dance scenes were so enthralling, i didn't know if I should laugh, or pull out an old plastic headband, push it back on my head, then move it a smidge foward thus giving myself the ol' "headband poof", as I like to call it. (whatever, you know you TOTALLY did that in the 80's to make your hair have that conservative girl poof, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.) I went with laughing, because I couldn't find the headband in my 'hair accessories' bucket.
The dance scenes were so enthralling, i didn't know if I should laugh, or pull out an old plastic headband, push it back on my head, then move it a smidge foward thus giving myself the ol' "headband poof", as I like to call it. (whatever, you know you TOTALLY did that in the 80's to make your hair have that conservative girl poof, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.) I went with laughing, because I couldn't find the headband in my 'hair accessories' bucket.
This movie has it ALL. And I do mean ALL. (watch the trailer if you don't believe in my words: The fact that you will NOT regret this video is backed by my promise!!!)
Where else can you find...terrible dancing, a blue collar public school brawny kid with all the hot dance moves, a tough talking retired General who is overprotective of his catholic school girl daughter (SJP), a rich snobby girl who gets everything she demands, a sassy talkin' funky clothes wearing catholic school rocker girl (Helen Hunt) who instantly befriends Sarah Jessica, and helps her to achieve her dream of shaking her tailfeathers on Dance TV?
Where else can you find...terrible dancing, a blue collar public school brawny kid with all the hot dance moves, a tough talking retired General who is overprotective of his catholic school girl daughter (SJP), a rich snobby girl who gets everything she demands, a sassy talkin' funky clothes wearing catholic school rocker girl (Helen Hunt) who instantly befriends Sarah Jessica, and helps her to achieve her dream of shaking her tailfeathers on Dance TV?
No, no the fun and good times don't stop there...There is a coming out party scene wherein all the stereotypical rich girl's dreams get smashed along with a table that has a gigantic punch bowl on it.
There are 80's punks, a kid sister, a fast talking Jewish kid, AND a rowdy dance club scene...sneaking out, fashion out the wazoo...
Not to mention Sarah Jessica & her dance pal/blue collar boyfriend do the "lift" made famous by a certian Jennifer Grey & Patrick Swayze. But don't get your boxer briefs tangled...Girls Just want to Have Fun made it's motion picture debut in 1985. Pre the dirtiest of all dancing movies which made it's rise to fame in 1987. (FYI: American Greetings had a Dirty Dancing Christmas Ornament...I'm still in mild depression that I did not shell out the $25 to make that ornament mine!!!
(So what, I'm a dance movie aficiando!) Granted GJWTHF is NO Dirty Dancing.
It's just grade B delight.
(So what, I'm a dance movie aficiando!) Granted GJWTHF is NO Dirty Dancing.
It's just grade B delight.
So, my advice is run to Target and shell out your $5 for this cinematic masterpiece. It's in the bargain section, where it rightfully belongs. And trust me, you will want this in your movie collection. It's pure 80's hokey genius. Not quite on the level of the late 70's Somewhere Tomorrow. But just as much terrible movie fun!!
In other holiday-ish news, Mike & I put up our Christmas tree. We got a fakey. We named him K. Martin. After the store where his Royal Holiday Fakeness was purchased.
Mike was in charge of lights, while I amused him with lively commentary, he wound himself round and round the tree. We put on the lights, then tinseled that tree up to perfection.
Mike was in charge of lights, while I amused him with lively commentary, he wound himself round and round the tree. We put on the lights, then tinseled that tree up to perfection.
Later that night, after dinner and watching Tropic Thunder, we lounged by the tree watching the twinkling and chasing lights. Talking about this and that.
He said "This is so romantic!"
He said "This is so romantic!"
I said "What? the lights?"
He said "Lounging here with you, by the tree. What could make it better?"
I said "A fireplace."
He said "And some snow."
I said "but it's pretty much perfect."
He said "Yeah, even though your boyfriend's face almost hit his dinnerplate..."
(Which it did, he was one sleepy soldier.)
I said that I'd heard it was snowing in Washington state...
He said "Lounging here with you, by the tree. What could make it better?"
I said "A fireplace."
He said "And some snow."
I said "but it's pretty much perfect."
He said "Yeah, even though your boyfriend's face almost hit his dinnerplate..."
(Which it did, he was one sleepy soldier.)
I said that I'd heard it was snowing in Washington state...
Which prompted us to ramble on about that area, and where we'd like to live most in that state. Both joking that the Axis apartments downtown in Seattle, are just a meager $3,000 per month.
I felt all warm and toasty inside when we played "Where would you be without me?"
He said "I'd be lonely."
I said, without hiding my smile "Really?"
He said "Yes, you make me happy. I love being with you."
He said "I'd be lonely."
I said, without hiding my smile "Really?"
He said "Yes, you make me happy. I love being with you."
I said "Well, where would I be without you...hmmmm..."
He made mention that I'd be just fine.
He made mention that I'd be just fine.
I told him to take it back, that I'm happiest with him.
And we just watched the lights twinkle as I snuggled into his arms.
Shoot your lawnmower! Baby, it's cold outside! (Dec 23, 2008)
Aol, my favorest search engine had a 'weird criminals' feature today. Kinda a year in review type deal.
Of course, It was a MUST that I click it.
So, I did.
And I have an instant new hero. No, he wasn't a man who saved a bank heist, or something grandiose like that.
In fact, he was more of the 'featured on COPS in Milwaukee' breed. The quote he was quoted as saying, quite possibly could be in the running for quote of the year. (It's up against Lyns' quote: "Fat kids are my favorite.....to push down.")
The quote is: "It's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want," ~Keith Walendowski. The man apparently shot his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.
It doesn't get any more quotable than that.
Regardless, I woke up this morning to be greeted by a balmy 17 degrees F. With a wind advisory making it feel like it was 2 degrees.
If you are asking my opinion 2 degrees is a ridiculous temperature. Rest assured I got the hottest shower ever, and a phone call from Mike telling me to be safe on the drive to work.
I whined that I didn't want to go, and neither did Chloe (Who has been a weekend houseguest at our apartment this wknd while the Gnos strutted their stuff down in Georgia.)
The dog has received the treatment Royale from Michael & myself. We decided that since she is french by breed...she puts Le in front of a lot of words...to honor her heritage. For example:
Gimme some more Le Turkey Bacon.
It amused us for a bit coming up with different sayings. Sue us, it takes little to amuse us.
We've been in the holiday spirit... Here's a lil' review for anyone who cares...
Saturday day, I packed in my last lil' meager bit of shopping. Mistake. At FiveBelow I got stuck in line in front of Trendie McTrenderson and her brood of offpsring. (Whom she called Honeygirl) I wanted to vomit. She repeatedly told Honeygirl not to whine and how she hadn't whined all day and she was her good lil' honeygirl.....I don't know if you can see why I was ready to punch honeygirl's mom in her ovary...but the line was long (30 minutes long) and the entire half hour was filled to overflowing with commentary from Honeygirl's mom.
Saturday night, we did have a vodka rific good time making our 1st annual Gingerbread House. (I was the one Vodka-a-rificing.) It isn't a lovely Gingerbread House, and I'm sure if there was a gingerbread house neighborhood, this one would be in the smudgey low rent drug infested cul de sac....I'm just saying...
The day before was Fudge Friday... My Mykull helped to make his first ever batch of fudge. He looked at me with astonishment and said "We don't BAKE it?" It still makes me smile thinking of expression.
Last night we lit the first candle, and spun the dreidels.
And if not tonight then tomorrow..I think it's christmas lights at Howard County Hospital. Which sounds weird, but when we drove by the other night on the way to Columbia Mall, it was fantastique exclaimation point! It was a plethora, an array, a driving tour of twinkly-holly-jolly-jingle-bells-all-the-way lights! A must see for the pad-sum duo.
And this week, we are making a trek to DC to see the National Tree.
Oh how I love the holidays...and opening our lil' mailbox to find yet another christmas card for us!
Of course, It was a MUST that I click it.
So, I did.
And I have an instant new hero. No, he wasn't a man who saved a bank heist, or something grandiose like that.
In fact, he was more of the 'featured on COPS in Milwaukee' breed. The quote he was quoted as saying, quite possibly could be in the running for quote of the year. (It's up against Lyns' quote: "Fat kids are my favorite.....to push down.")
The quote is: "It's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want," ~Keith Walendowski. The man apparently shot his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.
It doesn't get any more quotable than that.
Regardless, I woke up this morning to be greeted by a balmy 17 degrees F. With a wind advisory making it feel like it was 2 degrees.
If you are asking my opinion 2 degrees is a ridiculous temperature. Rest assured I got the hottest shower ever, and a phone call from Mike telling me to be safe on the drive to work.
I whined that I didn't want to go, and neither did Chloe (Who has been a weekend houseguest at our apartment this wknd while the Gnos strutted their stuff down in Georgia.)
The dog has received the treatment Royale from Michael & myself. We decided that since she is french by breed...she puts Le in front of a lot of words...to honor her heritage. For example:
Gimme some more Le Turkey Bacon.
It amused us for a bit coming up with different sayings. Sue us, it takes little to amuse us.
We've been in the holiday spirit... Here's a lil' review for anyone who cares...
Saturday day, I packed in my last lil' meager bit of shopping. Mistake. At FiveBelow I got stuck in line in front of Trendie McTrenderson and her brood of offpsring. (Whom she called Honeygirl) I wanted to vomit. She repeatedly told Honeygirl not to whine and how she hadn't whined all day and she was her good lil' honeygirl.....I don't know if you can see why I was ready to punch honeygirl's mom in her ovary...but the line was long (30 minutes long) and the entire half hour was filled to overflowing with commentary from Honeygirl's mom.
Saturday night, we did have a vodka rific good time making our 1st annual Gingerbread House. (I was the one Vodka-a-rificing.) It isn't a lovely Gingerbread House, and I'm sure if there was a gingerbread house neighborhood, this one would be in the smudgey low rent drug infested cul de sac....I'm just saying...
The day before was Fudge Friday... My Mykull helped to make his first ever batch of fudge. He looked at me with astonishment and said "We don't BAKE it?" It still makes me smile thinking of expression.
Last night we lit the first candle, and spun the dreidels.
And if not tonight then tomorrow..I think it's christmas lights at Howard County Hospital. Which sounds weird, but when we drove by the other night on the way to Columbia Mall, it was fantastique exclaimation point! It was a plethora, an array, a driving tour of twinkly-holly-jolly-jingle-bells-all-the-way lights! A must see for the pad-sum duo.
And this week, we are making a trek to DC to see the National Tree.
Oh how I love the holidays...and opening our lil' mailbox to find yet another christmas card for us!
Whirlwind holiday wrap up! (Jan 5, 2009)
The Holidays literally whizzed by before I could mail out most of our christmas cards. What can you do? You can't fight city hall.
Christmas eve found us at Chez G'no. Where Soozie decided immediately if not sooner that she adored Michael. She crawled in his lap and dog breathed him immensely. She even slept on the air mattress in the office with us. Yes, Mom & dad came up for the holidays, which was so nice.
Christmas Morning was a flurry of torn christmas wrappings, tissue paper, and fudge for breakfast. (Michael and I decided that Christmas Morning is the only time that cookies and fudge are acceptable breakfast foods, and induldge we did.)
I received so many presents that I confess, I am very spoiled. We all donned the pretty green bow on our foreheads for photographic memories. I must say, It suited me lovely. Lyns & I sang Elvis' "Mama Loved the Roses" & "Why can't every day be like Christmas" with our best lip curls and shakey legs. It was a treat.
We played a game called Things. Trust me, it is a must play. I laughed so hard I had tears. Granted, I laugh often, but you know what I mean... Next time you are in a group, pull it out, play it. People will laugh. It's amusing.
Christmas night the Michael & I went back to our apartment for our lil' personal christmas. We received gifts from Washington (not the state, but the family that resides there), and from each other. We also got a call from his parents, and his daughter, who got her cell phone for christmas.
For new years, we went to Georgia. It was a rush thru trip of whirlwind status. It felt like all we did was drive, turn around and drive more. During Mike's walking tour of the twin cities...We did see 2 armadillo figurines in the lovely metropolis of McCaysville, Ga. We stopped long enough to snap a storefront window picture of us and the armadillo. And we purchased the 2nd armadillo, a stuffie whom we named Armie for a steal deal of only $2!!
On our fast paced trek to the peachstate,
I did get to see Grandma, which was so nice! AND my girlies. They are my favorites!
There was a mini fireworks display in their driveway, gracias to their dad, my boyfriend and their uncle.
I had to laugh at the kids who were yelling "Save it for the 12 o'clock!!! Save it for the 12 o'clock!"
After the men did not, indeed, save the Homemade yet explosive G'bye-2008-Hello-2009!fireworks extravaganza, for the 12 o'clock.... I took Mike down to the Peachdrop. It was a mess! There were so many people there we were crowded in and, tada...I got a lil' panicky. It seemed like there was no way out. Fortunately, when the new year struck, Michael kissed me, a few someones high fived me ( I love ringing in the new year with a high five, lets me know all is right with the world.) and some random soul handed me a sparkler.
And of course, I did what everyone does when they have a sparkler in hand, I whirled it around in little circles until it burnt out.
And if you think of it truly, sparklers bring the lame to all festivities.
On our way back to Maryland, we took turns driving, stopping for a sleep over in Lexington, Va. And Armie took the scenic tour of the trip, sitting proudly on the dashboard for all to see...
I confessed to my sweetie-sweet, that if it gets out that we don't have a song, but the Armadillo, we will be covered over in Armadillo figurines. He laughed and said "I know!"
Christmas eve found us at Chez G'no. Where Soozie decided immediately if not sooner that she adored Michael. She crawled in his lap and dog breathed him immensely. She even slept on the air mattress in the office with us. Yes, Mom & dad came up for the holidays, which was so nice.
Christmas Morning was a flurry of torn christmas wrappings, tissue paper, and fudge for breakfast. (Michael and I decided that Christmas Morning is the only time that cookies and fudge are acceptable breakfast foods, and induldge we did.)
I received so many presents that I confess, I am very spoiled. We all donned the pretty green bow on our foreheads for photographic memories. I must say, It suited me lovely. Lyns & I sang Elvis' "Mama Loved the Roses" & "Why can't every day be like Christmas" with our best lip curls and shakey legs. It was a treat.
We played a game called Things. Trust me, it is a must play. I laughed so hard I had tears. Granted, I laugh often, but you know what I mean... Next time you are in a group, pull it out, play it. People will laugh. It's amusing.
Christmas night the Michael & I went back to our apartment for our lil' personal christmas. We received gifts from Washington (not the state, but the family that resides there), and from each other. We also got a call from his parents, and his daughter, who got her cell phone for christmas.
For new years, we went to Georgia. It was a rush thru trip of whirlwind status. It felt like all we did was drive, turn around and drive more. During Mike's walking tour of the twin cities...We did see 2 armadillo figurines in the lovely metropolis of McCaysville, Ga. We stopped long enough to snap a storefront window picture of us and the armadillo. And we purchased the 2nd armadillo, a stuffie whom we named Armie for a steal deal of only $2!!
On our fast paced trek to the peachstate,
I did get to see Grandma, which was so nice! AND my girlies. They are my favorites!
There was a mini fireworks display in their driveway, gracias to their dad, my boyfriend and their uncle.
I had to laugh at the kids who were yelling "Save it for the 12 o'clock!!! Save it for the 12 o'clock!"
After the men did not, indeed, save the Homemade yet explosive G'bye-2008-Hello-2009!fireworks extravaganza, for the 12 o'clock.... I took Mike down to the Peachdrop. It was a mess! There were so many people there we were crowded in and, tada...I got a lil' panicky. It seemed like there was no way out. Fortunately, when the new year struck, Michael kissed me, a few someones high fived me ( I love ringing in the new year with a high five, lets me know all is right with the world.) and some random soul handed me a sparkler.
And of course, I did what everyone does when they have a sparkler in hand, I whirled it around in little circles until it burnt out.
And if you think of it truly, sparklers bring the lame to all festivities.
On our way back to Maryland, we took turns driving, stopping for a sleep over in Lexington, Va. And Armie took the scenic tour of the trip, sitting proudly on the dashboard for all to see...
I confessed to my sweetie-sweet, that if it gets out that we don't have a song, but the Armadillo, we will be covered over in Armadillo figurines. He laughed and said "I know!"
The Saga of the Sofas (Jan 6, 2009)
The Pad-Sum duo is sofaless no more. Granted, we didn't get the spiffy Ikea sofa that we so dearly had my heart set on (I think Michael was game for any sofa as long as it had seat-a-bility!) however, we were given, yes I said given a sofa and loveseat duo.
Just because I said Duo, don't start thinking they match. In fact quite contrarily. They are mismatched pieces. One is of old lady proportions, the other is a lil' brown number I refer to as the Luv Seat. As in, it is so fantabulous it cannot be spelled LOVE seat. No, not this lovely display of furniture. It is tan, and looks like it came from the set of that 70's show. In fact, so much so, that I am 100% postive that when I come home after a hard day's rockin', Hyde (I chose that character because he was my favorite on that show) will be sitting in a haze on that very Luv seat.
The sofa in all its grandeur could've come from any random Meemaw, MeeMee, Grandma, Grannie, Nanny, Nin-Nin's home this side of the Mississippi, or the other side if you are taking tally.
It's blue, maroon and covered in sparkly golden flowers. I love it.
We got them on the house from a coworker of Mike's. I kept calling him Gary. Then Mike said "Who's Gary?"
I said "The man we got the couches from."
He said "No...you mean Darrell."
Gary, Darrell, it's really all the same when it comes down to the count.
We were lounging last night and Mike said "You know, Darrell told me that he saw some furniture on the side of the road, and he thought we didn't want those sofas anymore." (Like Gary-Darrell was offended)
I laughed.
Firstly, that Gary-Darrell would've been offended if we'd thrown away his throw aways, and secondly, that he thought we'd just toss the sofas on a random street that we don't live on, in a neighborhood we've probably never even driven through, just because we 'didn't want them.'
I have to say, I did want the Ikea sofa, but free is free, and we've almost febreezed the sofas to that 'new from goodwill' smell that we all love and trust....
Just because I said Duo, don't start thinking they match. In fact quite contrarily. They are mismatched pieces. One is of old lady proportions, the other is a lil' brown number I refer to as the Luv Seat. As in, it is so fantabulous it cannot be spelled LOVE seat. No, not this lovely display of furniture. It is tan, and looks like it came from the set of that 70's show. In fact, so much so, that I am 100% postive that when I come home after a hard day's rockin', Hyde (I chose that character because he was my favorite on that show) will be sitting in a haze on that very Luv seat.
The sofa in all its grandeur could've come from any random Meemaw, MeeMee, Grandma, Grannie, Nanny, Nin-Nin's home this side of the Mississippi, or the other side if you are taking tally.
It's blue, maroon and covered in sparkly golden flowers. I love it.
We got them on the house from a coworker of Mike's. I kept calling him Gary. Then Mike said "Who's Gary?"
I said "The man we got the couches from."
He said "No...you mean Darrell."
Gary, Darrell, it's really all the same when it comes down to the count.
We were lounging last night and Mike said "You know, Darrell told me that he saw some furniture on the side of the road, and he thought we didn't want those sofas anymore." (Like Gary-Darrell was offended)
I laughed.
Firstly, that Gary-Darrell would've been offended if we'd thrown away his throw aways, and secondly, that he thought we'd just toss the sofas on a random street that we don't live on, in a neighborhood we've probably never even driven through, just because we 'didn't want them.'
I have to say, I did want the Ikea sofa, but free is free, and we've almost febreezed the sofas to that 'new from goodwill' smell that we all love and trust....
Coldness...and Old Movies (Jan 17, 2009)
It's cold. Unbelievably cold. As in, it's ridiculous that temperatures are allowed to drop to the single digits. I spend my days in double layers. Double layers are ridiculous. TWO pairs of pants, two shirts, the world's heaviest coat etc.. etc.. I feel like the stay puffed Marshmallow man looks. I'm just anxiously going around corners expecting Dan Aykroyd and Rick Moranis to blast me into their ghost busting packs.
In my fruitless battle against the frigidness, I've opted to drink gallons of coffee, hot tea and even once try Campbells chunky turkey pot pie soup (Stray far from this...it's nastiness in a can).
I've also watched a plethora of movies...what else can you do when it's too cold to think?
It all started with Coal Miner's Daughter. And who doesn't love and quote that movie? *Which I watched while eating the aforementioned Turkey Pot Pie Soup o' disgusting-ness.
Then I progressed to Destry Rides Again with Jimmy Stewart. It was a comedy but that was the reason for my howling laughter. It was the terrible acting on Marlene Dietrich part. Gah I love her.
After that came Casablanca, then The Barefoot Contessa (No one can do it quite like Bogey now can they?)
I also glued myself to Stormy Weather. It's hard to watch and not sing along. Uncle Bill is just too lovable..even if I (gasp!) Don't like Cab Calloway too much, Lena Horne makes up for it with her beauty.
So, as you can see, January evenings while Mike is at work, I busy myself with old movies..and well, making a million different kinds of brownies and breads. Who knew there were so many ways to make such deliciousness? I make 'em and send 'em off to work with Michael to share the wealth and in an attempt not to actually become the stay puffed marshmallow man..er woman....
Telling my mom about all the different recipes and such that I've been making on a nightly basis, she said "You aren't pregnant are you?"
I said "Pregnant? NO! Why?"
She said "Just wondering all this baking and stuff you are doing...."
The verdict is No, I am absolutely 100% unpregnant! Whew...
In SATC news...or SJP gossip news...
My dearest boyfriend came busting into the apartment the other day, faux drama all over his face. He said "Did you hear about SJP?"
I said "No..What about SJP?"
He said "You didn't hear? You don't know?"
I said "what is it?"
He said in deliberate drama "She's moving...OUT."
I said "are you serious? How did you hear?"
He said "I read the thing?"
I said "What thing?"|
He said "The thing at superfresh..in line."
I said "What! What did the thing say?"
He said "That she was moving out. I just saw the cover"
I said "Did you buy the thing?"
He said "No. I didn't buy the thing."
I said "Why didn't you buy the thing?"
He said "You know I hate those things."
I said "Did you read the thing?"
He said "Only the cover."
I said "Oh."
Apparently, my man knows I adore SJP enough to at least look at the cover of the gossip magazines he so despises...
In my fruitless battle against the frigidness, I've opted to drink gallons of coffee, hot tea and even once try Campbells chunky turkey pot pie soup (Stray far from this...it's nastiness in a can).
I've also watched a plethora of movies...what else can you do when it's too cold to think?
It all started with Coal Miner's Daughter. And who doesn't love and quote that movie? *Which I watched while eating the aforementioned Turkey Pot Pie Soup o' disgusting-ness.
Then I progressed to Destry Rides Again with Jimmy Stewart. It was a comedy but that was the reason for my howling laughter. It was the terrible acting on Marlene Dietrich part. Gah I love her.
After that came Casablanca, then The Barefoot Contessa (No one can do it quite like Bogey now can they?)
I also glued myself to Stormy Weather. It's hard to watch and not sing along. Uncle Bill is just too lovable..even if I (gasp!) Don't like Cab Calloway too much, Lena Horne makes up for it with her beauty.
So, as you can see, January evenings while Mike is at work, I busy myself with old movies..and well, making a million different kinds of brownies and breads. Who knew there were so many ways to make such deliciousness? I make 'em and send 'em off to work with Michael to share the wealth and in an attempt not to actually become the stay puffed marshmallow man..er woman....
Telling my mom about all the different recipes and such that I've been making on a nightly basis, she said "You aren't pregnant are you?"
I said "Pregnant? NO! Why?"
She said "Just wondering all this baking and stuff you are doing...."
The verdict is No, I am absolutely 100% unpregnant! Whew...
In SATC news...or SJP gossip news...
My dearest boyfriend came busting into the apartment the other day, faux drama all over his face. He said "Did you hear about SJP?"
I said "No..What about SJP?"
He said "You didn't hear? You don't know?"
I said "what is it?"
He said in deliberate drama "She's moving...OUT."
I said "are you serious? How did you hear?"
He said "I read the thing?"
I said "What thing?"|
He said "The thing at superfresh..in line."
I said "What! What did the thing say?"
He said "That she was moving out. I just saw the cover"
I said "Did you buy the thing?"
He said "No. I didn't buy the thing."
I said "Why didn't you buy the thing?"
He said "You know I hate those things."
I said "Did you read the thing?"
He said "Only the cover."
I said "Oh."
Apparently, my man knows I adore SJP enough to at least look at the cover of the gossip magazines he so despises...
My Boyfriend's Mashed Potatoes and Other tales from Odenton (Jan 22, 2009)
Michael, or "the Big M" as he is known in certain circles, makes amazing mashed potatoes..I say this because after making a plethora of mashed tater goodness...I had desired to be the best tater masher in the land. I made mashed garlic reds, smashed garlicy tater extravanga (that is a mix of various types of potatos) blah blah blah...I sampled and toyed with the likes of sour cream add-ins and you name it..I'd throw it in. And granted they weren't too shabby...
So, last night, my darling buddy made mashed yukon golds. To compliment the curry chicken festival...He stood, in his pink floyd jammie pants and his camo slippers and cooked up a storm. His mashed potatoes included: milk, garlic powder and taters.
They were amazing.
I told him so. I said "No fair, you make better mashed potatoes than your girlfriend!"
He couldn't even hide his pride as he tried to play off being modest saying "It was only the yukon golds."
I said "Yeah, right...Man, I can't make anything, you are definitely the cook in this relationship!" (Side note: Don't think for one moment I wasn't laying the ground work to get out of the hefty cooking duties.....haha)
So, we sat on the sofa eating our dinner (Sure we have a dining table, but c'mon sofa eatin' is better for tv watchin') watching the end of Fun with Dick & Jane.
In sweetest sweet news...the other night Mike was attempting to tell me how pretty he finds me. He said "You get prettier with time."
I said "WHAT? what does that mean?"
He said "Don't you know anything that improves with time? Like wine for instance.."
I said "Improve? as in 'i wasn't as pretty when you first met me and hence i've improved' Improve?"
He said "No...no..that's not what I meant. Seriously It's not..I'm trying to give you a compliment...but it's not working."
I said "Uhm....well, I'm confused."
He said "Well, don't you have a favorite painting?"
I said "Yes."
He said "Well, when you look at it, haven't you seen more beauty each time and in different more colorful ways, Like everytime you look at it, you see something new and beautiful that you didn't see before?"
I said "Yes."
He said "that is how I see you."
I said "Ooh much better!! I love that!!! Thank you!!"
And I do love that he compares me to art...It makes me feel so endeared to my sweet sweet man.
So, last night, my darling buddy made mashed yukon golds. To compliment the curry chicken festival...He stood, in his pink floyd jammie pants and his camo slippers and cooked up a storm. His mashed potatoes included: milk, garlic powder and taters.
They were amazing.
I told him so. I said "No fair, you make better mashed potatoes than your girlfriend!"
He couldn't even hide his pride as he tried to play off being modest saying "It was only the yukon golds."
I said "Yeah, right...Man, I can't make anything, you are definitely the cook in this relationship!" (Side note: Don't think for one moment I wasn't laying the ground work to get out of the hefty cooking duties.....haha)
So, we sat on the sofa eating our dinner (Sure we have a dining table, but c'mon sofa eatin' is better for tv watchin') watching the end of Fun with Dick & Jane.
In sweetest sweet news...the other night Mike was attempting to tell me how pretty he finds me. He said "You get prettier with time."
I said "WHAT? what does that mean?"
He said "Don't you know anything that improves with time? Like wine for instance.."
I said "Improve? as in 'i wasn't as pretty when you first met me and hence i've improved' Improve?"
He said "No...no..that's not what I meant. Seriously It's not..I'm trying to give you a compliment...but it's not working."
I said "Uhm....well, I'm confused."
He said "Well, don't you have a favorite painting?"
I said "Yes."
He said "Well, when you look at it, haven't you seen more beauty each time and in different more colorful ways, Like everytime you look at it, you see something new and beautiful that you didn't see before?"
I said "Yes."
He said "that is how I see you."
I said "Ooh much better!! I love that!!! Thank you!!"
And I do love that he compares me to art...It makes me feel so endeared to my sweet sweet man.
Billy Jack & The Hershy Bars (Jan 23, 2009)
What is a better way to spend a late january night than to curl up on your freebie sofa, nestled in with a Hershey Bar and the daringly craptacular flick known to all of the world as "Billy Jack"? You are absolutely right, nothing is better.
Mike, being a virgin to the legend of Billy Jack, quickly understood why I insisted on watching. But a few seconds into the movie that is less about it's name sake Billy Jack who is a half breed American Indian slash Green Beret slash karate expert slash rape stopping friend of the hippies, and more about the happenings at the "Freedom School", He knew exactly why this movie is golden.
What with quotes like:
I've been balled by so many boys I don't know who the father is!
Watch out for his feet, he can kill ya with his feet!
We communicate with him Indian-style. When we need him, somehow he is there.
You really think those Green Beret Karate tricks are gonna help you against all these boys?
Because her brain has been damaged by the heathen devil weed, marijuana!
Being an Indian is not a matter of blood... it's a way of life.
Why haven't ya tried to lay me?
I just go BERSERK!
Now when I count to three,you drive your car into the lake.
1…..2………FLOOR IT!!!!
How could you NOT include this really really horribly terrible movie about Indians ("half breeds") that look strangly as WHITE as me, and hippies who just love freedom and free form acting, a young girl who has been balled so many times she doesn't know who the father of her unborn child is, and villians who like to rape and drive their cars into lakes for fear of the dreaded Friend to the hippies Billy Jack into your collection?
The quotes alone make it worth watching with glee, not to mention how horrible the acting actually is. And if you add a hershey bar into the mix, it is without a doubt an evening well spent.
Even Mikely is now throwing out quotables from this legend of a movie. But I doubt he could resist even if he tried, that my friend, is how addictive and influential this movie actually is...It spoke to a generation...kinda...well, no, it really didn't...BUT...it tried to, and failed miserably and that's what counts...
Mike, being a virgin to the legend of Billy Jack, quickly understood why I insisted on watching. But a few seconds into the movie that is less about it's name sake Billy Jack who is a half breed American Indian slash Green Beret slash karate expert slash rape stopping friend of the hippies, and more about the happenings at the "Freedom School", He knew exactly why this movie is golden.
What with quotes like:
I've been balled by so many boys I don't know who the father is!
Watch out for his feet, he can kill ya with his feet!
We communicate with him Indian-style. When we need him, somehow he is there.
You really think those Green Beret Karate tricks are gonna help you against all these boys?
Because her brain has been damaged by the heathen devil weed, marijuana!
Being an Indian is not a matter of blood... it's a way of life.
Why haven't ya tried to lay me?
I just go BERSERK!
Now when I count to three,you drive your car into the lake.
1…..2………FLOOR IT!!!!
How could you NOT include this really really horribly terrible movie about Indians ("half breeds") that look strangly as WHITE as me, and hippies who just love freedom and free form acting, a young girl who has been balled so many times she doesn't know who the father of her unborn child is, and villians who like to rape and drive their cars into lakes for fear of the dreaded Friend to the hippies Billy Jack into your collection?
The quotes alone make it worth watching with glee, not to mention how horrible the acting actually is. And if you add a hershey bar into the mix, it is without a doubt an evening well spent.
Even Mikely is now throwing out quotables from this legend of a movie. But I doubt he could resist even if he tried, that my friend, is how addictive and influential this movie actually is...It spoke to a generation...kinda...well, no, it really didn't...BUT...it tried to, and failed miserably and that's what counts...
Snow and Ice and Frozen Toes Oh MY (Jan 29, 2009)
It's official. I've officially learned the non joy in removing ice from a vehicle.
And being as short as I am, it's not an easy task to remove from the top of my escape. But, I did it.
With frozen fingers, and lots of swearing, I pulled it off..literally sheets of ice from the top, hood and windows of my vehicle.
It started innocently enough. Picture it...a 10pm call from Michael on monday night saying "Hey, we are supposed to get snow starting before midnight, incase you didn't hear."
I responded with "No, I didn't hear, but you will be coming home right?"
well, how was I supposed to know? In the south Snow shuts us down...completely.
He arrived at home at 12:20isham.
I made some sarcastic remark about the 'tons of snow' that had already fallen. He laughed at my obvious lie and chimed in when I said I didn't believe Maryland could forcast anything right.
We headed for bed.
I woke up at 6am. Apparently they can get the forecast KINDA right. It was snowing, but just lightly. I woke him and said "Check it out!" We watched it for a few minutes, then dozed back off.
When we re-awoke a few hours later it was a virtual winter wonderland. We opened our sliding glass door blinds. Neighborhood kids were already at play. Some lucky ones had saucers and sleds. One boy decided that fun can still be had in the snow, even if you are sans equipement. He forged a snow board out of cardboard.
He started down the hill and landed face first, my to my gasp then delight. I laughed. I admit it.
And here is the real news story...rednecks exsist everywhere. And they don't have to be white, or speak with a southern, or even an american accent, for that matter. And before you think I'm saying the kid was a redneck for the cardboard snowboard, think again....
Because something even grander...something even more spectacular than cardboard appeared.
Someone got the bright idea that a mattress would make a good, cozy comfortable sled, and that little to no injuries would occur in the event of an untimely dump out. Just lie on the mattress and anchors away.
Except that they were not figuring on the fact that a mattress is fabric and thus the idea of sledding down even a large hill wouldn't be so easy.
1/4 of the way down, it stopped.
As in no more movement. Regardless of that "If I just keep moving my body forward it will go!" move, it wasn't budging.
And thus the mattress lay abandoned, in shame. The non american redneck walked away head hung low, in shame of an idea gone bust.
Now, you are probably thinking as I am...and no, there was no sheet on the mattress (I mean, c'mon sheets would've probably slowed down the process even more.)
And furthermore, I, too, am befuddled.
Who would remove their own bed for outdoor snow time fun?
Secondly, who would abandon said mattress??
Alas, we did take photographs so that there is actual proof. And, to this very day, that mattress lies sheetless and covered in ice. Kids are just sledding AROUND it.
Mike and I are taking bets for how long Shelter Cove will allow it to sit unmanned on the hill. Or when a Hobo will come for camp outs.
And in other icy news, whilst I was de-icing the escape...our neighbor who makes the delicious smelling food, who we've tried in vain to befriend....well, he decided to take a walk. He chose going up the famous Mattress Hill, as it's come to be called, despite all it's ice, in lieu of taking the finally plowed ice free parking lot.
He started up, and slid down. Standing, mind you.
Again he started up, and again down he slid, still standing.
You could see it in his eyes, third time was a charm...wheels were a-turnin'. Light bulb totally going off above his head, he decided that CRAWLING up the ice embankment was the answer. He made it past the mattress this time. Only to slide willy-nilly down to the foot of the hill.
I laughed, but quickly took it back. For 2 very good reasons.
First one being...It could happen to me, in the event that I wanted to climb Mattress Hill.
Secondly, My laughter may ban me from any future free eats, or recipes, because you know how wicked Karma can be....
And I do believe Karma firmly looks out for all Hindus...
So, I went back to removing sheets of ice from my car, and continuing swearing and promising myself a nice winter home in Boca Raton when and if I ever win the lotto....
And being as short as I am, it's not an easy task to remove from the top of my escape. But, I did it.
With frozen fingers, and lots of swearing, I pulled it off..literally sheets of ice from the top, hood and windows of my vehicle.
It started innocently enough. Picture it...a 10pm call from Michael on monday night saying "Hey, we are supposed to get snow starting before midnight, incase you didn't hear."
I responded with "No, I didn't hear, but you will be coming home right?"
well, how was I supposed to know? In the south Snow shuts us down...completely.
He arrived at home at 12:20isham.
I made some sarcastic remark about the 'tons of snow' that had already fallen. He laughed at my obvious lie and chimed in when I said I didn't believe Maryland could forcast anything right.
We headed for bed.
I woke up at 6am. Apparently they can get the forecast KINDA right. It was snowing, but just lightly. I woke him and said "Check it out!" We watched it for a few minutes, then dozed back off.
When we re-awoke a few hours later it was a virtual winter wonderland. We opened our sliding glass door blinds. Neighborhood kids were already at play. Some lucky ones had saucers and sleds. One boy decided that fun can still be had in the snow, even if you are sans equipement. He forged a snow board out of cardboard.
He started down the hill and landed face first, my to my gasp then delight. I laughed. I admit it.
And here is the real news story...rednecks exsist everywhere. And they don't have to be white, or speak with a southern, or even an american accent, for that matter. And before you think I'm saying the kid was a redneck for the cardboard snowboard, think again....
Because something even grander...something even more spectacular than cardboard appeared.
Someone got the bright idea that a mattress would make a good, cozy comfortable sled, and that little to no injuries would occur in the event of an untimely dump out. Just lie on the mattress and anchors away.
Except that they were not figuring on the fact that a mattress is fabric and thus the idea of sledding down even a large hill wouldn't be so easy.
1/4 of the way down, it stopped.
As in no more movement. Regardless of that "If I just keep moving my body forward it will go!" move, it wasn't budging.
And thus the mattress lay abandoned, in shame. The non american redneck walked away head hung low, in shame of an idea gone bust.
Now, you are probably thinking as I am...and no, there was no sheet on the mattress (I mean, c'mon sheets would've probably slowed down the process even more.)
And furthermore, I, too, am befuddled.
Who would remove their own bed for outdoor snow time fun?
Secondly, who would abandon said mattress??
Alas, we did take photographs so that there is actual proof. And, to this very day, that mattress lies sheetless and covered in ice. Kids are just sledding AROUND it.
Mike and I are taking bets for how long Shelter Cove will allow it to sit unmanned on the hill. Or when a Hobo will come for camp outs.
And in other icy news, whilst I was de-icing the escape...our neighbor who makes the delicious smelling food, who we've tried in vain to befriend....well, he decided to take a walk. He chose going up the famous Mattress Hill, as it's come to be called, despite all it's ice, in lieu of taking the finally plowed ice free parking lot.
He started up, and slid down. Standing, mind you.
Again he started up, and again down he slid, still standing.
You could see it in his eyes, third time was a charm...wheels were a-turnin'. Light bulb totally going off above his head, he decided that CRAWLING up the ice embankment was the answer. He made it past the mattress this time. Only to slide willy-nilly down to the foot of the hill.
I laughed, but quickly took it back. For 2 very good reasons.
First one being...It could happen to me, in the event that I wanted to climb Mattress Hill.
Secondly, My laughter may ban me from any future free eats, or recipes, because you know how wicked Karma can be....
And I do believe Karma firmly looks out for all Hindus...
So, I went back to removing sheets of ice from my car, and continuing swearing and promising myself a nice winter home in Boca Raton when and if I ever win the lotto....
Slip Slidin' Away... (Feb 2, 2009)
Ok, so it is very true. I have to just start out by saying that Karma does indeed watch out for those of the Hindu faith, and quite rapidly, too might I add. And definitely, Karma has a No Erasies policy
Not more than a few days after my giggle fest inspired by the neighbor sliding willy nilly down Mattress Hill, did I take my own spill.
It started innocently enough. It was just such a warm yesterday. I would venture to say it got up into the 50's. The mounds of ice were melting into slush under the warmth. So, the sliding glass door was open to the world, letting in all the spring like air into our stale ol' winter apartment. I was doing a pre-spring clean. I even had the pledge out an in use filling our lil' abode with that fresh lemony scent.
We loaded up the trash (2 bags) and we were taking it to the garbage bins on Mike's way to work. I leave the sliding door open as the garbage bins are very close to our building.
On the way back, me and my brillant ideas decided that "hey! I can save the middle man and just go inside through the patio! SCORE!" (I'm most assuredly thought SCORE! in my mind, heck, I may have even lip synced the word.)
There is a mini hill from the sidewalk to our patio and down into our apartment.
I am walking along the sidewalk telling Mike to have a good evening at work, and I step onto the grass. Which looks for serious like just grass. I wasn't thinking of the evil underbelly of Mud from all the melting that was occuring.
The moment that my feett, in my favoritest trusty green sneaks (ie so favorite that the bottoms have zero traction left) step on the grassy hill, both fly out from under me, and I'm airborne. Yes. I was suspended in air for miliseconds. I land hard smack on my keister. (Yes, I was wearing my favoritest faded Levis) I land promptly in the mud, using my hand to try to stop the fall, it became covered in mud, top and bottom.
I feel the jolt go from my arse to the top of my head.
I look at Mike who is trying to desperately keep from laughing. He bites his smile and says "AMBER!!!Are you OK!?"
Still sitting in the cold mud feeling it totally soak my jeans, I respond with the gutteral groan of "UHHHHHH."
His smile fades as he thinks I'm truly truly injured.
Which only makes me laugh, really hard. He starts to smile and through my yelps of laughter I promptly order him "Don't LAUGH!"
Which only makes him laugh harder.
He must've felt terrible though because he came bearing diet cokes with Lime after his PT and before his work shift began. Instructing me to take advil.
I called my sister who immediately told me that is what I get for laughing at the man who bambi-on-iced his way down Mattress Hill.
I said "But I took it back! Immediately!"
And I did take it back...but apparently Ishvara dishes out Karma speedily....
And for a recovery of a sore bum and a tender wrist and some mild neck pain what else would do besides for watching Xanadu and singing the Magic song along with the queen of all roller skates Olivia Newton-John? It makes me wish I'd not given up the roller skate at the tender age of nine...if I'd only stuck with it...if I'd only stuck with it!
Not more than a few days after my giggle fest inspired by the neighbor sliding willy nilly down Mattress Hill, did I take my own spill.
It started innocently enough. It was just such a warm yesterday. I would venture to say it got up into the 50's. The mounds of ice were melting into slush under the warmth. So, the sliding glass door was open to the world, letting in all the spring like air into our stale ol' winter apartment. I was doing a pre-spring clean. I even had the pledge out an in use filling our lil' abode with that fresh lemony scent.
We loaded up the trash (2 bags) and we were taking it to the garbage bins on Mike's way to work. I leave the sliding door open as the garbage bins are very close to our building.
On the way back, me and my brillant ideas decided that "hey! I can save the middle man and just go inside through the patio! SCORE!" (I'm most assuredly thought SCORE! in my mind, heck, I may have even lip synced the word.)
There is a mini hill from the sidewalk to our patio and down into our apartment.
I am walking along the sidewalk telling Mike to have a good evening at work, and I step onto the grass. Which looks for serious like just grass. I wasn't thinking of the evil underbelly of Mud from all the melting that was occuring.
The moment that my feett, in my favoritest trusty green sneaks (ie so favorite that the bottoms have zero traction left) step on the grassy hill, both fly out from under me, and I'm airborne. Yes. I was suspended in air for miliseconds. I land hard smack on my keister. (Yes, I was wearing my favoritest faded Levis) I land promptly in the mud, using my hand to try to stop the fall, it became covered in mud, top and bottom.
I feel the jolt go from my arse to the top of my head.
I look at Mike who is trying to desperately keep from laughing. He bites his smile and says "AMBER!!!Are you OK!?"
Still sitting in the cold mud feeling it totally soak my jeans, I respond with the gutteral groan of "UHHHHHH."
His smile fades as he thinks I'm truly truly injured.
Which only makes me laugh, really hard. He starts to smile and through my yelps of laughter I promptly order him "Don't LAUGH!"
Which only makes him laugh harder.
He must've felt terrible though because he came bearing diet cokes with Lime after his PT and before his work shift began. Instructing me to take advil.
I called my sister who immediately told me that is what I get for laughing at the man who bambi-on-iced his way down Mattress Hill.
I said "But I took it back! Immediately!"
And I did take it back...but apparently Ishvara dishes out Karma speedily....
And for a recovery of a sore bum and a tender wrist and some mild neck pain what else would do besides for watching Xanadu and singing the Magic song along with the queen of all roller skates Olivia Newton-John? It makes me wish I'd not given up the roller skate at the tender age of nine...if I'd only stuck with it...if I'd only stuck with it!
Like Elvis Himselvis (Feb 12, 2009)
So, In my trend of watching movies, I came across one starring John Corbett (Cha-ching..I'm watching it!) and Kim Basinger. It's called Elvis has Left the Building.
It's not oscar worthy. It's not even Moscar worthy, in fact without John Corbett, the movie wouldn't even truly be as watchable as it is. Firstly, the little girl who plays Harmony (Kim Basinger's character) has a terrible southern accent. That's the first thing. I hate hollywood southern accents.
However, this isn't to bash said movie, in fact, no. It's a celebratory blog about the humor to be found in this movie.
You should watch it.
Here's why:
Tons of terrible elvis impersonators.
The quote which became my blog title: Like Elvis Himselvis.
AND...John Corbett...and John Corbett's sexy playful facial expressions...need I say more???
In other newsworthy news-ishness....
I have delighted myself completely in this prespring weather, so much so that I lamented to Mike that we would probably indeed get another whomper snow storm just to dash our hopes in seeing flowers blooming anytime soon.
What with our planning on going back to Washington, and all the summer fun that will be had a the G'no's 4th of July BBQ Extravangza-- The G"nos don't know it yet, but I'm bringing the Gelato! Found a recipe and I want to try it. I told Mike I thought I'd make it.
He said "Eww."
I said "Eww what?"
He said "Gelato."
I said "have you ever had it?"
He said "No."
I said "Then how can you eww it?"
He said "What is in it?"
I said "Custard."
He said "eww."
I said "Eww?"
he said "Custard. I don't like it."
I said "I didn't say Custard."
He said "You did too!"
I said "No. I didn't I said...Cusss....word?"
He laughed.
Anyways, after the summer extravanganzas we will be going to Florida for a Disney Vacay...Gracias Uncle Sam!
So, I want warm weather to arrive sooner, not later! And no more snow storms, if possible! So, I've started my campaign against winter, and hopefully Puxtatauny Phil will listen...It's called Just say NO! To snow!
And tomorrow....the two of us are taking the train to DC to see the newly re-opened Museum of American History. We're waking up early (which is a chore) and packin' lunches and heading down.
As for Valentine's day...He's keeping me in the dark about the goings on. Suffice it to say...there will be candy...for him.
It's not oscar worthy. It's not even Moscar worthy, in fact without John Corbett, the movie wouldn't even truly be as watchable as it is. Firstly, the little girl who plays Harmony (Kim Basinger's character) has a terrible southern accent. That's the first thing. I hate hollywood southern accents.
However, this isn't to bash said movie, in fact, no. It's a celebratory blog about the humor to be found in this movie.
You should watch it.
Here's why:
Tons of terrible elvis impersonators.
The quote which became my blog title: Like Elvis Himselvis.
AND...John Corbett...and John Corbett's sexy playful facial expressions...need I say more???
In other newsworthy news-ishness....
I have delighted myself completely in this prespring weather, so much so that I lamented to Mike that we would probably indeed get another whomper snow storm just to dash our hopes in seeing flowers blooming anytime soon.
What with our planning on going back to Washington, and all the summer fun that will be had a the G'no's 4th of July BBQ Extravangza-- The G"nos don't know it yet, but I'm bringing the Gelato! Found a recipe and I want to try it. I told Mike I thought I'd make it.
He said "Eww."
I said "Eww what?"
He said "Gelato."
I said "have you ever had it?"
He said "No."
I said "Then how can you eww it?"
He said "What is in it?"
I said "Custard."
He said "eww."
I said "Eww?"
he said "Custard. I don't like it."
I said "I didn't say Custard."
He said "You did too!"
I said "No. I didn't I said...Cusss....word?"
He laughed.
Anyways, after the summer extravanganzas we will be going to Florida for a Disney Vacay...Gracias Uncle Sam!
So, I want warm weather to arrive sooner, not later! And no more snow storms, if possible! So, I've started my campaign against winter, and hopefully Puxtatauny Phil will listen...It's called Just say NO! To snow!
And tomorrow....the two of us are taking the train to DC to see the newly re-opened Museum of American History. We're waking up early (which is a chore) and packin' lunches and heading down.
As for Valentine's day...He's keeping me in the dark about the goings on. Suffice it to say...there will be candy...for him.
Valentine's Day and Other Spices (Feb 17, 2009)
So, on thursday, the one that came before valentine's day, my sweetie-sweet came home from work. There I was sitting on the sofa (Gary the multicolored one) in my vintage slip nightie covered up in a fleece blanket watching Tyler Perry's House of Payne. I can't help it, I Love that show. Specifically it was the episode where Curtis gets Kitty. ANYHOW...
He comes in all smiley and giddy.
I say "Hey baby!"
He says "I'm so excited!" (Keep in mind all week long he's been secretive and smiley and not letting me in on ANY details.)
I said "About DC tomorrow?"
He replied with "Nope. Well, yeah, but about Valentine's day!"
I said "Oh! really?"
He said "Yes, and I can't wait. I have to tell you. I am so tempted to tell you what I got!"
I stopped him with a "NOOOOOO! Don't tell me!"
He said "But it's for us. It's a joint valentine."
I immediately thought ...Oh gawd..it's a couples massage...please don't let it be a couples massage....I said, with some what of a dissappointed tone "Is it a couples massage?"
He paused and said "no."
He told me he was just going to tell me.
I said "no no no. keep it a secret!" and put my hand over his mouth.
He muttered under my hand "It's something we both love."
I said "Is it a cat?"
He said "Yes."
I said "NO! Don't TELL me!"
He said "Well, you guessed, I couldn't lie!"
I said "REEEEALLY? a cat?!"
He said "Yes. Jeff."
I said "JEFF!? as in mutt and jeff from petco? are you telling me the truth? For real???"
He said "Yep!"
So, despite my giddiness we headed off to bed early to wake up the next morning in time to catch the train to DC.
Running on 3 hours of sleep, I'd say I did pretty good. We stopped at the On the GO! for a cup of coffee and a little pack of donuts. I guzzled my coffee from Odenton to Union Station, making fun of the way people here pronouce the town of Bowie not at all like the sufferegette city Bowie and more like Bouy.
DC was nice in the morning. Not a lot of people out and about, just workers going to their jobs and a few early bird tourists like ourselves.
We went up top of the WAshington Monument and looked at the city all while waiting on the Museum of American History to open for the day. We walked around the mall, talking and taking in all the sites.
I do have to say the newly remodeled History Museum sadly sadly disappointed me.
It opened back in November, yet still looks only partly finished. There was no archie bunker's chair. No fonzie's jacket. Gone. All in storage. What we were treated to seeing in the entertainment room (Which was tiny!) was The Ruby Slippers, some latin american singers spangley sparkly dress, a harlam globe trotter uniform, and some muppets.
I said to mike "This is all? Where's archie's chair????"
We walked through America At War, and WWI was poorly represented. They barely had ANYTHING.
I don't believe I saw much tribute to the Korean war either, it just jumped from WWII (Which was a HUGE display to Vietnam) There was a tiny tribute to the Iraq war, and that was that. I felt a lil' jipped I have to admit.
We did however get to see THE star spangled banner flag. As in the one Francis Scott Key wrote the song about.
And trust me, standing there, in the dark room, looking at it, it's so damn hard not to feel patriotic and awed. I know I did.
But the highlight of our entire day was walking back to Union Station. There, sashaying in front of us was a robust man in a pair of women's flip flops. You may be questioning as to how I knew they were women's flops. Granted they were black, in color, they were beyond all doubt made for a female foot. They were raised high heel flops, and definitely not en vogue for the male foot.
We snapped pictures of the man as he hauled it double time by the Capitol.
The next morning, Valentine's Day, we woke up and Mike skirted around telling me that I absolutely could NOT go with him to pick up Jeff. I asked why. He said I had to stay there. It was very important that someone be home.
I said "ok" as I muched on a Tiramisu Truffle. (He gave me a heart shaped box full of the Wockenfuss treats. 36 truffles to be exact)
He left and soon thereafter a van arrived bearing the most beautiful red roses and red gerber daises.
The man cleared his throat (the same throat that was covered in tattoos) and said "Happy Valentine's Day!" I for a half of a second believed he was going to sing me a song, but thankfully refrained from a senerade)
I was so happy and giddy (Flowers always do that to me)
I couldn't stop smelling them.
About an hour after that, Michael came home bearing Jeff, the adopted rescued cat.
We marveled at his catness, laughing and calling everyone we knew to tell them the news.
Mike told his dad that he was a grandpa, It was a boy 6months old. His dad misunderstood believing I was 6 months pregnant...which we found to be quite humorous....
Jeff will have to be the only lil' boy suman we have for a while....
He comes in all smiley and giddy.
I say "Hey baby!"
He says "I'm so excited!" (Keep in mind all week long he's been secretive and smiley and not letting me in on ANY details.)
I said "About DC tomorrow?"
He replied with "Nope. Well, yeah, but about Valentine's day!"
I said "Oh! really?"
He said "Yes, and I can't wait. I have to tell you. I am so tempted to tell you what I got!"
I stopped him with a "NOOOOOO! Don't tell me!"
He said "But it's for us. It's a joint valentine."
I immediately thought ...Oh gawd..it's a couples massage...please don't let it be a couples massage....I said, with some what of a dissappointed tone "Is it a couples massage?"
He paused and said "no."
He told me he was just going to tell me.
I said "no no no. keep it a secret!" and put my hand over his mouth.
He muttered under my hand "It's something we both love."
I said "Is it a cat?"
He said "Yes."
I said "NO! Don't TELL me!"
He said "Well, you guessed, I couldn't lie!"
I said "REEEEALLY? a cat?!"
He said "Yes. Jeff."
I said "JEFF!? as in mutt and jeff from petco? are you telling me the truth? For real???"
He said "Yep!"
So, despite my giddiness we headed off to bed early to wake up the next morning in time to catch the train to DC.
Running on 3 hours of sleep, I'd say I did pretty good. We stopped at the On the GO! for a cup of coffee and a little pack of donuts. I guzzled my coffee from Odenton to Union Station, making fun of the way people here pronouce the town of Bowie not at all like the sufferegette city Bowie and more like Bouy.
DC was nice in the morning. Not a lot of people out and about, just workers going to their jobs and a few early bird tourists like ourselves.
We went up top of the WAshington Monument and looked at the city all while waiting on the Museum of American History to open for the day. We walked around the mall, talking and taking in all the sites.
I do have to say the newly remodeled History Museum sadly sadly disappointed me.
It opened back in November, yet still looks only partly finished. There was no archie bunker's chair. No fonzie's jacket. Gone. All in storage. What we were treated to seeing in the entertainment room (Which was tiny!) was The Ruby Slippers, some latin american singers spangley sparkly dress, a harlam globe trotter uniform, and some muppets.
I said to mike "This is all? Where's archie's chair????"
We walked through America At War, and WWI was poorly represented. They barely had ANYTHING.
I don't believe I saw much tribute to the Korean war either, it just jumped from WWII (Which was a HUGE display to Vietnam) There was a tiny tribute to the Iraq war, and that was that. I felt a lil' jipped I have to admit.
We did however get to see THE star spangled banner flag. As in the one Francis Scott Key wrote the song about.
And trust me, standing there, in the dark room, looking at it, it's so damn hard not to feel patriotic and awed. I know I did.
But the highlight of our entire day was walking back to Union Station. There, sashaying in front of us was a robust man in a pair of women's flip flops. You may be questioning as to how I knew they were women's flops. Granted they were black, in color, they were beyond all doubt made for a female foot. They were raised high heel flops, and definitely not en vogue for the male foot.
We snapped pictures of the man as he hauled it double time by the Capitol.
The next morning, Valentine's Day, we woke up and Mike skirted around telling me that I absolutely could NOT go with him to pick up Jeff. I asked why. He said I had to stay there. It was very important that someone be home.
I said "ok" as I muched on a Tiramisu Truffle. (He gave me a heart shaped box full of the Wockenfuss treats. 36 truffles to be exact)
He left and soon thereafter a van arrived bearing the most beautiful red roses and red gerber daises.
The man cleared his throat (the same throat that was covered in tattoos) and said "Happy Valentine's Day!" I for a half of a second believed he was going to sing me a song, but thankfully refrained from a senerade)
I was so happy and giddy (Flowers always do that to me)
I couldn't stop smelling them.
About an hour after that, Michael came home bearing Jeff, the adopted rescued cat.
We marveled at his catness, laughing and calling everyone we knew to tell them the news.
Mike told his dad that he was a grandpa, It was a boy 6months old. His dad misunderstood believing I was 6 months pregnant...which we found to be quite humorous....
Jeff will have to be the only lil' boy suman we have for a while....
Little Diamond Ring Stories...(Feb 18, 2009)
My darling man, the one who I make yellow rice and curry chicken for, speaks of marriage casually. Lying in bed we plan a future wedding filled to overflowing with quirkiness. He indulges my every whim, and sometimes when I look at him, I feel such overwhelming love that I catch my breath.
And with sentiments like that, you'd think I'd be blasting Celine Dion while wistfully pouring over BRIDES magazine, hopping he will pop the question like in some sappy lifetime television for women movie of the month.
But, I'd much rather quote silly movie lines with him, laugh too hard over our shirtless neighbors, bask in his amusement of how I over pronounce the letter "G" (as in Hanger, Song, Wrong..etc) and be happily surprised every time we stumble across a random armadillo. That to me, is more beautiful and more exciting that any dress Vera Wang ever created.
Having said all that...I couldn't NOT smile and get knotty stomached when we were looking at rubies the other day.
We scooted down to the next jewlery case which housed all the fancy diamonds.Engagement rings of every style glittered and danced while whispering "Put me on your finger!"
I saw a lavish one, sparkles and beauty bursting from it's platinum band.
I said "OHHH! That one looks like one that Lyns would want!"
Mike said "Yes, but...which one would you want?"
I bit my lip looking into the glass as though I was at the hospital looking into the nursery window at my newborn baby while Mike passed out cigars.
I pointed to one and said "That one."
The sales lady smiled. You could clearly see she was thinking "Commission!" I could definitely see it in her eyes when I looked up.
Mike said "Can she see it?"
The lady hopefully handed it over to me. I said "wow. It is beautiful"
Mike agreed.
I smiled handing the very pricey ring back to the lady behind the counter.
As we walked away, I couldn't help but think to myself, "I hope he asks me to marry him much like in My big fat greek wedding."
I just love the idea of a casually sweet proposal...
And we both know that I wouldn't not say yes....
But until then, I will just happily keep laughing over curry chicken and delight in being with him...
And with sentiments like that, you'd think I'd be blasting Celine Dion while wistfully pouring over BRIDES magazine, hopping he will pop the question like in some sappy lifetime television for women movie of the month.
But, I'd much rather quote silly movie lines with him, laugh too hard over our shirtless neighbors, bask in his amusement of how I over pronounce the letter "G" (as in Hanger, Song, Wrong..etc) and be happily surprised every time we stumble across a random armadillo. That to me, is more beautiful and more exciting that any dress Vera Wang ever created.
Having said all that...I couldn't NOT smile and get knotty stomached when we were looking at rubies the other day.
We scooted down to the next jewlery case which housed all the fancy diamonds.Engagement rings of every style glittered and danced while whispering "Put me on your finger!"
I saw a lavish one, sparkles and beauty bursting from it's platinum band.
I said "OHHH! That one looks like one that Lyns would want!"
Mike said "Yes, but...which one would you want?"
I bit my lip looking into the glass as though I was at the hospital looking into the nursery window at my newborn baby while Mike passed out cigars.
I pointed to one and said "That one."
The sales lady smiled. You could clearly see she was thinking "Commission!" I could definitely see it in her eyes when I looked up.
Mike said "Can she see it?"
The lady hopefully handed it over to me. I said "wow. It is beautiful"
Mike agreed.
I smiled handing the very pricey ring back to the lady behind the counter.
As we walked away, I couldn't help but think to myself, "I hope he asks me to marry him much like in My big fat greek wedding."
I just love the idea of a casually sweet proposal...
And we both know that I wouldn't not say yes....
But until then, I will just happily keep laughing over curry chicken and delight in being with him...
Burn Baby Burn...it's a disco...Security cop? (Feb 23, 2009)
Last Friday Mike & I drove out to Columbia, it's a bout a 15 min. drive from us. Truly we just wanted something to do. We kinda made it our mission to buy junk for jeff. The cat had torn the feathers off of his feather ball-on-a-stick toy just five minutes after being home post adoption, and a mere 5 days after that, he tore the ball off of the ball-on-a-stick-toy.
Our mission was to go to Petco (Even though I prefer petsmart) to buy him another something-on-a-stick-toy.
Being in the area, we stopped by Target before going to the complex across the street where said Petco is located.
Once in Target, our first stop was at the DVD Corrals. Mike likes to look at the new releases. Specifically we were looking for the step brothers double dvd packet.
Along the Movie wall o' plenty I spotted, just for a mere $7.50 a double duty of movie eloquence. A double feature of cheesy american classics, if you will.
A sheer delight among those of us who enjoy watching terrible movies.
Saturday Night Fever and Staying Alive.
On the same disc. As if Life couldn't get any more perfect!
I held up the dvd to Mike and said in my best Tony Manero voice "I'm gonna strut!"
He looked at me and said "Oh, no. Please."
I gasped in faux shock and exclaimed "You haven't even SEEN these movies! They...are...Amercian...CLASSICS!"
I proceeded to shake the dvd side to side along with my singing "You can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man!"
I've been touting the tacky fascination I have with these horrible movies since I forced Mike to listen to the soundtrack. I danced (Finger point while kicking my legs to the side a la axl rose) in the kitchen while he made mac-n-chee for the Gnos. He shook his head at my antics and confessed he'd never seen Saturday Night Fever.
And here we were, in Target, double feature at a discounted price! How could I not sing him a tad of Stayin' Alive???
Mike laughed and said "I just don't think I can watch it. It's just...just...Disco!"
And before I could remind him that it's the sheer lameness of the movies that make them worth popping corn, and how hard did we laugh at Xanadu??
A man in a security gaurd uniform (Apparently Columbia MD target has security guards walkin' the beat..which I am sure is two notched below Mall Cop) chimes in.
Through his puffy lips he says "Don't knock it til you watch it. It's well, both movies are exceptional"
I stopped swaying the dvd, and looked at him. At first I thought he was joking. He's gotta be joking right? But I quickly determined that he is quite assuredly speaking from his heart.
I slid the dvd back in it's holder on the shelf. I say "That's what I keep telling him." I smile nicely.
Mike says to him "Yeah, but I"m just not that into disco." As we both try to walk away. The security guard wipes his nose with his sausage link finger and continues, "I tell you it's some of the best music out there! You still have hints of motown. And Pop, and Rock. Disco has it all. And all the hit rappers of today use Disco. So really you hear it all the time, and you don't even know it."
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. I squeezed Mike's hand as he tried to nicely tell him that he Like 70's rock, but that was about it. And again we tried to ease away from the Unkempt officer who took the oath of shoplifters will be prosecuted, and he seriously continued defending the awesomeness of the disco era. He said "We all knew that's where the hot babes were. The Discos. Monday through friday we were all rockers. Come friday we were all in the discos to get the hot babes."
I busied myself straighting a dvd, assured that I would break down into fits of laughter if I looked at his puffy face. I just had this image of this man on rollers skates or doin' the hustle to Bad Girls. It was almost too much.
He STILL kept talking. "Yep, that's were all the fine babes were."
Mike said "I bet." still trying to walk us away.
Then he said to me "If you want to see how the Disco life really was, you should watch Studio 543. It's real."
In an attempt to be kind to this disco inferno I said "We will have to check that out sometime."
He said "it shows 'em doin' coke. Like it really was."
I guess he saw Mike's doubtful look, or my perplexed glance at his security guard badge. I mean, what the...? Doesn't doin' coke go against his oath and pledge to uphold people to the law of you break it you buy it? and making sure no non payers get past the receipt checker?
He quickly backpeddled and said "But not me, no way. I didn't do coke. But I did SMOKE."
Mike said "Uhm...okay." . At this point Disco Man was holding the dvd that started the whole conversation.
He waggled it and said to Mike "I'm not joking, I wouldn't steer you wrong, man. It's a great movie. Hey, I still gotta keep my man card."
Mike said "Ok." as we walked away.
Once we were out of ear/eye shot Mike said "That man never hooked up with any woman. At all. Ever."
I said laughing "You're right. He probably goes home after walkin' the beat all day and tells his mom to leave him alone, and goes in his room shuts the door and puts the bee gees on VINYL and WISHES he'd really been to the discos."
I confessed that it had been hard not to laugh at the man who was trying to convince us of his coolness via disco.
Alas we did continue to the Pet department where we found Jeff a new toy on a string, and a fuzzy rat. I put the kitty bow tie on my wish list for next shoppin' trip.
I admit, as we left the store, I was humming "More than a woman"
Our mission was to go to Petco (Even though I prefer petsmart) to buy him another something-on-a-stick-toy.
Being in the area, we stopped by Target before going to the complex across the street where said Petco is located.
Once in Target, our first stop was at the DVD Corrals. Mike likes to look at the new releases. Specifically we were looking for the step brothers double dvd packet.
Along the Movie wall o' plenty I spotted, just for a mere $7.50 a double duty of movie eloquence. A double feature of cheesy american classics, if you will.
A sheer delight among those of us who enjoy watching terrible movies.
Saturday Night Fever and Staying Alive.
On the same disc. As if Life couldn't get any more perfect!
I held up the dvd to Mike and said in my best Tony Manero voice "I'm gonna strut!"
He looked at me and said "Oh, no. Please."
I gasped in faux shock and exclaimed "You haven't even SEEN these movies! They...are...Amercian...CLASSICS!"
I proceeded to shake the dvd side to side along with my singing "You can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man!"
I've been touting the tacky fascination I have with these horrible movies since I forced Mike to listen to the soundtrack. I danced (Finger point while kicking my legs to the side a la axl rose) in the kitchen while he made mac-n-chee for the Gnos. He shook his head at my antics and confessed he'd never seen Saturday Night Fever.
And here we were, in Target, double feature at a discounted price! How could I not sing him a tad of Stayin' Alive???
Mike laughed and said "I just don't think I can watch it. It's just...just...Disco!"
And before I could remind him that it's the sheer lameness of the movies that make them worth popping corn, and how hard did we laugh at Xanadu??
A man in a security gaurd uniform (Apparently Columbia MD target has security guards walkin' the beat..which I am sure is two notched below Mall Cop) chimes in.
Through his puffy lips he says "Don't knock it til you watch it. It's well, both movies are exceptional"
I stopped swaying the dvd, and looked at him. At first I thought he was joking. He's gotta be joking right? But I quickly determined that he is quite assuredly speaking from his heart.
I slid the dvd back in it's holder on the shelf. I say "That's what I keep telling him." I smile nicely.
Mike says to him "Yeah, but I"m just not that into disco." As we both try to walk away. The security guard wipes his nose with his sausage link finger and continues, "I tell you it's some of the best music out there! You still have hints of motown. And Pop, and Rock. Disco has it all. And all the hit rappers of today use Disco. So really you hear it all the time, and you don't even know it."
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. I squeezed Mike's hand as he tried to nicely tell him that he Like 70's rock, but that was about it. And again we tried to ease away from the Unkempt officer who took the oath of shoplifters will be prosecuted, and he seriously continued defending the awesomeness of the disco era. He said "We all knew that's where the hot babes were. The Discos. Monday through friday we were all rockers. Come friday we were all in the discos to get the hot babes."
I busied myself straighting a dvd, assured that I would break down into fits of laughter if I looked at his puffy face. I just had this image of this man on rollers skates or doin' the hustle to Bad Girls. It was almost too much.
He STILL kept talking. "Yep, that's were all the fine babes were."
Mike said "I bet." still trying to walk us away.
Then he said to me "If you want to see how the Disco life really was, you should watch Studio 543. It's real."
In an attempt to be kind to this disco inferno I said "We will have to check that out sometime."
He said "it shows 'em doin' coke. Like it really was."
I guess he saw Mike's doubtful look, or my perplexed glance at his security guard badge. I mean, what the...? Doesn't doin' coke go against his oath and pledge to uphold people to the law of you break it you buy it? and making sure no non payers get past the receipt checker?
He quickly backpeddled and said "But not me, no way. I didn't do coke. But I did SMOKE."
Mike said "Uhm...okay." . At this point Disco Man was holding the dvd that started the whole conversation.
He waggled it and said to Mike "I'm not joking, I wouldn't steer you wrong, man. It's a great movie. Hey, I still gotta keep my man card."
Mike said "Ok." as we walked away.
Once we were out of ear/eye shot Mike said "That man never hooked up with any woman. At all. Ever."
I said laughing "You're right. He probably goes home after walkin' the beat all day and tells his mom to leave him alone, and goes in his room shuts the door and puts the bee gees on VINYL and WISHES he'd really been to the discos."
I confessed that it had been hard not to laugh at the man who was trying to convince us of his coolness via disco.
Alas we did continue to the Pet department where we found Jeff a new toy on a string, and a fuzzy rat. I put the kitty bow tie on my wish list for next shoppin' trip.
I admit, as we left the store, I was humming "More than a woman"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)